Mom or Dad?

[LSN80]

Yes, I'm asking you to make a choice here.

I grew up in a two parent household, parents who are together to this day. They have just about the perfect relationship right now, but it wasn't always the case. My mom was the domineering, strict, and a "spare the rod, spoil the child" type of parent, while my dad was and is laid back, compassionate, and a "lets talk it out" type of person. Their styles of parenting clashed frequently, and it inevitably came down to my mom blaming the three of us children for their marital problems.

There are several instances I can recall in which my mom could have absolutely killed my self-esteem as a kid. I was adopted by my parents when I was 5 weeks old, and in my eyes, they were my biological parents, genetics be damned. But if I did something really stupid, or angered my mom by doing something wrong, she was quick to remind me that I wasn't her biological son. I misbehaved as a kid, but I was hardly a bad kid. but nobody told my mom that. As an 8th grader, I got a D in freaking Home Economics because I couldn't(and still can't) sew, and I was grounded for the next nine week period by her. My dad tried to overrule her for once, and it lead to a huge fight in which my mom told my dad she was leaving him, then turned to me and yelled "And it's because of you." Ironically, then, she told my dad she was taking allm three of us kids with her. When I protested, she said "Fine, you can keep him, but I'm taking the girls." Way to boost a 13 year old's self-esteem, eh?

I know some of you were forced to grow up without the thought of this choice, so despite what Ive said, I'm thankful forr the fact that I grew up with both parents. I presented the bad side of my mom, but she had alot of good qualities going for her as well. A trend I saw in the lives of my friends who were parents of divorce is that 3 of them got married quite young, and all 3 were divorced themselves within 5 years. So while I didn't always like the things my mom did and said growing up, I'm thankful I grew up living in a two-parent household.

But the purpose of this thread is to look at which parent, gun to your head, you'ld have chosen to live with if you were given such a choice. As much as I love my mom, she was hard to deal with in a two-parent household, so I can't imagine what things would have been like if she was the primary parent. As I said when my mom claimed she was taking all three of us, "I'm living with dad" was and still would be my choice, looking back. But how about you?

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

For those who grew up with divorced parents) Which parent do/did you primarily live with? If you had your say in the matter, would they have been your choice? Why?

If you grew up with only one parent in your life for one reason or another, were there things you feel you missed out on?

Any other thoughts or discussion here is welcome.

 

[Poop Master Flex]

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

Easy, my dad (actually that's how it was). Even if I had the choice I would have chosen my dad, my mom as much as I love her had some demons when I was growing up and I knew even then that my dad was the guy who could take care of me and put me first which is what a parent should do.

For those who grew up with divorced parents) Which parent do/did you primarily live with? If you had your say in the matter, would they have been your choice? Why?


See above answer.

If you grew up with only one parent in your life for one reason or another, were there things you feel you missed out on?

Not at all. In my particular case even though my mom didn't live with me I was fortunate in having surrogate mothers throughout my life, mainly in my best friends mom who treated me like her own, even if you asked her today she would call me her son. Even before that I don't feel I missed out on much. I won't say my childhood was great because it wasn't. I had less than most kids had but I don't feel that it would have been different if my mom was around, honestly it probably would have been worse.

 

[Trill Co$by]

(For those who grew up with divorced parents) Which parent do/did you primarily live with? If you had your say in the matter, would they have been your choice? Why?

I chose this one because even though I often say "my dad" to others on here, that "dad" that I talk about is a step-father and that usually doesn't count in a biological sense.

With that said, I lived with my mother growing up. My father, had the choice to visit every other week but instead of doing so, he chose to do drugs and move to an entirely different state. For 16 years, I didn't know where my dad was, but I knew that I hated every ounce of blood inside of him. He bailed on me when I was a baby, and didn't once bother to even call me until I was damn near out of high school and had the audacity to say "he cared". Fucking hell he did...

If I had been given then choice, knowing now what I didn't know then, I would've chosen my mother. She is the strongest person that I know, having raised four kids... three of which didn't belong to my step-dad. I've seen her give tooth and nail to put my older brother, myself, and my sister through school and make sure we didn't become like our fathers. She made sure that my younger brother was protected constantly whether by his older brothers in myself and my brother or by his dad. She worked at many prisons, where most people would've lost their heads and gone mad, and she always came home to cook a hot dinner and keep a smile on her face. My mother is inspiration for me to be a great parent to my son whenever possible.

Don't get me wrong, my step-dad is a great man and there's a reason that when people ask who my father is, I usually refer to him. He's been in the Army for about 20 years and has been to hell and back protecting not only his wife and son, but three kids that he took in that he didn't give birth to. He helped pay for my wrestling training and even put up the first grand for my college tuition when nobody else would.

As for my "father", I didn't even know what he sounded or looked like until I was 17. Sure, when I was younger I would try to contact him whenever possible but after being ignored for 12 years I stopped and kept going on with my life until that one day when he appeared out of nowhere. I don't like my "father" at all and have yet to forgive him. Before, my step-dad told me to wait until I see it from his eyes, and really I have... I have a son that I get to see maybe once or twice every two weeks, if I'm lucky. But I would NEVER choose to live with drugs over him, and I would do anything to protect him.

Anyway, I've kind of gone off topic, but yeah out of my mom and my "father" I would easily choose my mom. There isn't a damn thing my "father" could do to even come close to the sacrifices my mom has had to make in her life to keep a roof over my head.

 

[Mustang Sally]

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

Impossible to choose because the idea of them divorcing was non-existent. My Mom was somewhat more intense than my Dad, who was easy-going, yet firm. The two of them made decisions together and arguments between the two were handled in privacy, rather than occurring in full view of my brother and me. "Policy" changes that came out of those arguments and discussions were explained to us; we could offer input, which was considered and sometimes implemented, but the final decisions rested with them and they were always presented to us in a united front. They weren't looking to be our friends; they were looking to be our parents..... but we always had a say.

I admit to being a "Daddy's girl" and would spend as much time with him as I could, but my Mom and I understood each other so well that it would have been impossible for me to decide whom to go with had they split up. Presumably, they would have made that decision for my brother and I, but divorce was never a consideration, so I couldn't even hazard a guess which way it would have gone.

Appreciate your parents while you've got them, folks. Both of mine died two years ago, in their mid 50's, which is far too young.

Even if your relationship with your folks is less than perfect, be thankful for what you've got.

 

[Bernkastel]

The question about divorce is hard for me answer as my father has been dead for nearly twenty years, and passed when I was just a little kid. My mother never remarried, and her income was high enough that she was able to support both me and my sister in comfort growing up. In fact, its only been in the past few years when the economy tanked, that money has become an issue for her.

The third question I believe I can answer. There are plenty of things that I missed out on growing up without a father. I never really had any strong male influences growing up, and I was racked with behavioral issues in my early teens. A lot of the questions that a son might ask his father about love, sex, honor, respect, friendship, work, and life I had to answer for myself. I suspect that my life probably would have been much different had he lived. I probably would have had more motivation to do more with my childhood; and there's no telling where I'd be right now as I went to boarding school for most of my high school career, and my college career has been racked with so many ups and downs that it's going to take me 6 years to graduate.

 

[Paralyzer Z]

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

The idea of my parent divorcing has never graced my mind, because they have never come close to that at all (well, maybe once). It's extremely hard for me to answer this question as they both deeply love me. In the unfortunate event of a divorce I guess I would have to choose my mother. She has always been a very nice woman and has had an undeniable love for my 2 siblings and I since we were born. She hasn't had too much success economically in about 8 years now due to raising us and taking care of the house. My father has always supported us greatly and we have never had money issues. However my father and have opposite personalities. He has the assertive, confidence filled manly persona, while I am quiet, timid, and what he would call "Unmanly". My mother understands me more and doesn't try to change who I am, which why I would opt her by a slim margin.

For those who grew up with divorced parents) Which parent do/did you primarily live with? If you had your say in the matter, would they have been your choice? Why?

My parents have never divorced and likely never will, they got married 15 years ago (2 months before my birth) and have had a healthy relationship since then.

If you grew up with only one parent in your life for one reason or another, were there things you feel you missed out on?

Like I said, still living with parents with a healthy relationship, but if I had grown up with only one I can honestly say that I would be a completely different person. My mother allowed me to discover my personality, and be what I want to. She also has made sure that the house is always clean and that my brothers and I feel completely loved. However she has never really given me life lessons that have helped me prosper in school and learn to avoid the adolescent rebellious attitude as well as common teenage mistakes. My father on the other hand disciplined his sons so much that our "not common for teenagers (no attitude, no disobedience) " has been pointed out by other adults. He has also given me advice that more than not comes into play very often. His problem is that he has always tried to change me into a "real man" and force to partake in and like sports, talk to women more often, and exercise. I do absolutely none of that at all right now, my mother approved my lack of desire to be molded into that. In all honesty the combination of the advice and freedom of personality choice is something I don't think I could have lived without.

I love both my parents deeply, as of right now I wouldn't say I choose one over the other, but if I was required to make a choice I would with hesitation choose my mother.

 

[FitFinlay4Life]

Before I answer LSN's questions, I'll give y'all an insight into the history of good ole FF4L.

To my understanding, I grew up as an afterthought third child to aging folks. My Dad was 53, my mum 41 and my older sister and brother were 15 and 12 years, respectively, my senior. My sister was already married by the time I started to gleam memories with a son, my nephew being 15 months my junior. I was 4 and a half when a niece also came along. From they first had the ability to talk, my nephew and niece insisted that they were actually my siblings but given that none off my elders ever gave any substantiation to this story, I didn't accept nor validate these claims. When I hit 18, despite the fact that I was pretty certain that they actually had been telling me the truth, I still hadn't been told by any of the four people that mattered so still lived my life as I'd been brought up.

When I was 18, the truth (sort of) came out. My sister informed me that she had become pregnant at 15 to a man almost 10 years her senior. Given that revealing his name to my parents could have resulted in his incarceration because (understandably) my father was mightily PO'd when he discovered that his blue eyed girl was several months pregnant. My mum had a mental breakdown and I was initially sent to my (great) Aunt's house as an infant. However, on a visit, she wasn't happy at the treatment I was receiving due to there being some of their own kids in the house who sort of regarded me as a real life doll. She lifted me, brought me home and raised me as her own.

To this day I live a duplicitous life, to people in my parents circle (including my older brother and his family) I'm still essentially living the lie but within the confines of my biological family, all is as it would have been should I have been brought up by my biological parents (kayfabe sister and brother in law).

I regard my grandparents as my mum and dad because they raised me, loved me and I am who I am because of them. I do love my actual immediate family and spend a great deal of time with them. I have lived my life with them, so that I could be there for them and I was heartbroken two years ago when my father passed away. To be completely frank, I still am!

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

My (grand) parents were two very different people. At first glance, my mum would be the one that people would regard as unflappable and my dad the more emotional but in actuality, he was the more emotionally stable. Mum has broken down a couple of times over the years and dad was the one who brought her round. With that being said, my dad suffered bad health from I was four years of age and mum was always there for him. They fought and bickered, but were completely devoted to one another. She has never recovered from his passing away.

Which would I have choose had they split up? If forced into a corner, I would probably go with dad. Hero worship would be the closest term I could find for my feelings for my father. He was the patriarch of the family, including his sisters and brothers; he was well respected in both his workplace and in his various lodges were he rose to the top in all he joined; he could turn his hand to anything and even when he was in the worst of health, he always said that there are people worse off. An example of the ilk of the man is that he suffered from heart problems for over three decades until his death and yet he still refused to be listed as disabled or to receive any of the benefits that would have afforded him. This meant that, even when the minimum of walking was exhausting him (he also refused walking aids and wheelchairs), we couldn't use disabled spaces and would have to walk right across carparks. I have always said that my aim in life is to become a tenth of the man he was (his stubbornness is one trait I know I do have in barrels).

I know I still think of Dad every day and whilst looking after my mum has become much harder in the last year due to a string of bad news for my family and the lingering impact of Dad's passing but I still count my blessings at having her (no matter how mad she makes me).

Finally, I'd like to pass on my deepest condolences to Sally, to lose them when they had so much life left to live is an absolute tragedy. I hope all your memories of them are happy ones, milady.

 

[Dagger Dias]

I would have chosen to primarily live with my mother. Although I never had that great of a relationship with either of my parents, I was closer to my mom than my dad because he was often silent or distant and whenever we did talk we often got into arguments. I would therefore have chosen to stay with my mom but I would still want to spend time with my dad too. We argued less when we were around each other less. A classmate of mine had divorced parents. He lived with his mom and step-dad, but would be at his dad's every other weekend. That is probably a similar scenario to how my situation would likely play out so that I would have been able to spemd time with both of them.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

If you grew up with only one parent in your life for one reason or another, were there things you feel you missed out on?

Real simple answer here. My mom died when I was eight. I have a good life now and other than my mother's death my childhood was pretty great. However, there is no doubt in my mind that my life would have been better with my mom in it. I really don't remember her much because I was just a kid back then and most of what I do remember is the time that she was sick but regardless of all that I am convinced that she would have made my life better and me a happier person had she lived.

I have little faith in my life from the things I can not control but this is something that I am convinced of.

 

[CH David]

I lived with my mom when my parents got divorced. I was 10 when the divorce was official. When I was a kid my dad was always there for me, and my mom was kind of the secondary thought. Dad was always the object of my idol thoughts. Then the divorce happened. Shit was difficult for about three and a half years. I would see my dad every like Monday-Wednesday after school, and spend weekends by him for the first couple years. But the pressure of being the messenger, or keeping things from either mom or dad, was difficult as fuck. Mom was always under constant stress, and she would take her frustrations with my dad out and yell at me. I sorta went into a shell, and while I would talk to people during school, I didn't hang out with people much after school. Thankfully I started to break that shell in 8th grade and just progressed as high school went on. But god DAMN those first few years were tough.

As far as who I would/wanted to live with or whatever. When I was a kid I had hoped for my dad. It was a typical father/son situation. But as the years passed I'm definitely glad it was my mom. I'll fully admit now I am a mama's boy. She does so much and it gets overlooked by other people. I barely talk to my dad now, plus I don't like my stepmom. But I'm truly glad it worked out like this.

Are there things I missed out on? Yeah for sure. I missed out on hanging out with kids in Jr. High after school. I didn't have a girlfriend until 8th grade (lol Jr. High relationships), and after that until I was done with high school. I missed having a father teach me things in life that most father's get to teach. My mom had boyfriends, but none that really gave a shit about me. My brother was the one that taught me how to shave. Though if there was one thing I learned from my father is from something he did. Don't cheat on your spouse. Makes you a complete douchebag. He did and I don't want to be that guy.

But I know who I am. My mom, the rest of my family, and my friends all helped shape who I am today. If my dad was still around I don't think I am as chill or knowledgeable as I am. I thank my mom a lot for raising me the way she has.

 

[LilacFray]

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

Wow. This is something I haven't really thought about. The likeness of something of the sort happening is almost non-existent and I'm grateful for that. But if I had to make a decision between my parents... It would have to be my mother. I love both my parents but my mother has always understood me more. I don't know any other way to explain it. It's just that - she understands me more. Ah, and we get along better too. What I love about my parents is that my mother's the one who scolds me and my dad, the easy going but has always been the hard to satisfy person at the same time. I love my father loads but I've never been a daddy's girl.

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

Definitely my mum.

I've grown closer to my dad in the past few years, but growing up he was working intensive hours and could sometimes be quite short-tempered and/or take things too far after a few drinks that would then cause a tense atmosphere in the house. I didn't fully understand what he was going through with his work and financial situation, but with hindsight I can appreciate that the intensive hours and subsequent short-temper were down to providing our family with security in the years ahead. As I say, we're closer now but it's rare I talk to him about personal things.

My mum on the other hand has been the parent I can talk to about any personal situations. For example, 2 years ago I was diagnosed with depression and after coming home from the doctors I phoned my mum and just broke down. She knew I had been down for quite some time due to a myriad of things so in some ways I think she was more prepared for the news and rushed round to comfort me for a couple of hours. My dad was over in Romania at the time on a prolonged job and gave me a phone that evening suggesting it would probably be best to live over in Romania with him for a few months to get my head straight. My parents then went back and forth on what the best course of action would be, with the final decision being that I stayed home.

Although that happened when I was in my 20s, I was always closer to my mum growing up and would have been a lot more comfortable with her than I would have with my dad.

 

[Loveless]

I thought my mum was bad but what LSN80's mum did and said was totally fucking unacceptable. You just do not say those things to a child, I know the effect that both parents making me feel unwanted had on me.

For those who grew up with divorced parents) Which parent do/did you primarily live with? If you had your say in the matter, would they have been your choice? Why?

I lived with my mum but had I been given a choice I would have gone with my dad, and it would have been the wrong choice. It took me a long time to realise that my dad wasn't grown up enough to look after a child but when I was younger he was fun and of course that's all that matters at that age. As difficult as it is, kids shouldn't be allowed to choose who they live with but I would like to have seen how things would have turned out differently.

If you grew up with only one parent in your life for one reason or another, were there things you feel you missed out on?

I strongly feel that I missed out on having a real family and was forced to choose a side, which I did and I went with my fathers side ignoring my mums. I also feel like I missed out on a lot of aspects of being a boy, being cared for (my mum was busy with my disabled sister) and having someone who actually understood me. Neither of my parents are terribly bright but I have to imagine my dad would have done a better job, seeing as my mum made a complete fuckup of my childhood and has a complete lack of understanding to this day, something that has badly affected me.

 

[Serious Mozzarella]

I can't make a decision. I'd say neither.

My mother is the kind of woman who is so obsessed with her job, that she really doesn't have time to give a shit about anything that doesn't affect her. That means, my interests, my grades (unless they're F's), my friends, or anything. Luckily, I grew up and made the right decisions, but she definitely fostered an environment that made it easy for me to make the wrong ones. I grew up with serious problems with craving attention because I basically never got it from my mother. When I say serious problems, I mean compulsive lying, histrionic personality, and the sort.

My father moved out of the state when I was about nine. I've kept contact, and visited before, so it's not like he was completely out of my life, but he spent his entire life making excuses as to why he was never around, or even offered to help me with my life. He's always lived as frugal as he could possibly be, getting jobs that would allow him to *just* make it, so he could pay as little child support as possible, and use the rest on his music, or drinking, or whatever it is hippies from the 70s and 80s do these days.

I'm 22 years old. If I had to choose, right now? Neither. Now that I've grown up and become emotionally, psychologically, and financially independent, both of them are looking to become more involved, now that it requires little to no effort on their part. My mother suddenly wants to become a mother, and went through a phase where she'd hurl "punishments" at me for things like staying out late, or practicing safe sex with my girlfriend of 7 years. That plan backfired on her when I moved out.

My dad's also suddenly taken an interest in my life, as now I'm not in a position where I need any kind of help from him whatsoever. Him and I have literally nothing in common, so our phone conversations range from him putting me through drunken guilt trips about how I never call him, or why I'm always talking to my grandmother or aunt, rather than him, followed by taking slick little shots at my mother, trying to get me to start an argument between the two of them.

I'd rather go ahead and live my life independently of my parents.

 

[Deexter Jorgan]

I'm going to sound like a right douchebag but oh well screw it,

(For the two parent household) If your parents would have suddenly divorced, and you were able to choose, which parent would you choose/have chosen? Why?

It happened when both parents seperated, I went with my mom, my dad was and is a huge douchebag who for more reasons than i can fathom is a complete selfish moron, he never cared about my education, never communicated with my or my brothers and any time we did see him is when he was either laying down the law by beating us senseless, he was a huge drunk who only cared about himself.

Still does.

My mother on the other hand (in her own way) cared for us, yes she was impatient, yes she had no idea what the hell to do in regards to paying our bills or doing what was right for us in terms of education but she still cared, she did everything she possible knew how to in order to protect us and to me she will always be the best mom in the world, I would always choose her over my father who couldn't give a crap about me or my brothers, he saw us as an inconvienience.

For those who grew up with divorced parents) Which parent do/did you primarily live with? If you had your say in the matter, would they have been your choice? Why?


Didn't happen, they seperated and she took the moron back.....

If you grew up with only one parent in your life for one reason or another, were there things you feel you missed out on?

I missed out on alot, sports, financial management, self sufficiency, I had to literally learn everything myself and do what i knew was best to support my ever gowing first for knowledge, what i missed the most was a loving caring father, my dad was so bad that the guy tried it on with my wife...

 

[Tattooed Jesus]

I grew up in a household that when looked at from the outside seemed to be the perfect little family. The whole picket fence, 2 kids, family pets, picture of the perfect family deal. It could not have been anything further from what I actually grew up in. My mom and dad were so different from one another that I honestly don't know how they stayed together for almost 18 years of marriage. If my mom wanted to go to the beach my dad wanted to go to the mountains. Both had their own interests, my dad was a big time hunter and my mom was into playing cards, shopping, movies, that sort of thing. So they were always doing their own things apart from each other. The one thing they did have in common was my younger sister, I guess they realized I was already a lost cost and devoted a lot more time to her than they did me. Supporting her in no matter what interest she showed in anything. Which was fine by me because I really didn't want to have anything to do with either of my parents. My dad was an abusive asshole that would come home and beat the shit outta me just because he had a bad day at work. I was fine taking the abuse as I preferred him taking it out on me rather than going after my mom or my sister. I loved my mom even though she pretended like my dad wasn't doing anything wrong and would basically bribe me to try and get me to spend time with him. Half way through my senior year of highschool my dad called my mom one night and finally confessed that he had been cheating on her for years and was leaving her and never coming back. This devastated my mom for whatever reason, I mean even though there marriage was great the betrayal still cut real deep. Especially because the woman he was currently cheating with that he eventually got married to was friend of both my parents that had come to our home with her own family many times for dinners and stuff. I was thrilled that my parents got divorced because I knew the days of getting my ass kicked inside and out everyday were done. It ended pretty much any kind of relationship I had with my dad, I think I have spoken to him maybe 10 times since 1989, and most of those conversations weren't very polite. Right he left the relationship between me and my mom got really bad and I ended up moving in with my grandparents to finish out the school year because they were more like my mom and dad than my parents ever were. It took years for me to rebuild a relationship with my mom, which is fantastic now, especially after I had a couple of children of my own and she became a grandma.

So basically to answer the questions, I would have chosen neither of my parents and would have went to live with my grandparents, the two greatest people in my life when I was growing up.

 

[The Rob]

For those who grew up with divorced parents) Which parent do/did you primarily live with? If you had your say in the matter, would they have been your choice? Why?

When my parents split up in 2003, me and my sister lived with our mother. My Dad went to live with a friend and his wife for 6 months before finally getting his own place just around the corner from where I live (and still live now). It was tough, because my Mum had to deal with all the things that Mum's have to deal with as well as the heart-ache of her husband breaking up with her, and to her eternal credit, she handled it brilliantly. If I had a choice in the matter, I would of chosen to live with my Mum as well.

Whilst me and my Dad have always got on brilliantly, I never used to like being round his house. He was more strict on the things I could and couldn't do. I wasn't allowed to play more mature computer games and my Mum didn't really mind it so much, but she did use to time how long I could pay certain games for. Plus my Dad used to work bizarre hours (he's a policeman) so it wouldn't of worked anyway. He moved house three times in the space of two years before he finally met his current wife, my step-mum in late 2005 and moved in with her and thats the way it's been ever since.

 

[King Hobo]

As a kid, probably mom. Although, I'd want to see some pay stubs (at least for three pay periods) before I made any final decisions. My old man is a guy who liked to lecture and we adapted ("you three are like talking to a brick wall!" Hahaha) and moms just a sweet lady. Seriously though, we don't interact like a family (I've been referring to both of my folks by nicknames since the turn of the millenium). Instead, I ended up creating my own parents by combining Betty White, Kathy Lee Gifford and Dom Delouise for mom and for dad I combined Homer Simpson (as well as Mr Burns, Snake, Wiggum, Prof Frink, Sideshow Bob, it keeps going) with Jim Morrison and Shaun White.

Now I have no direction in life...

My perspective changed when I started hkanging out with a friend who had a daughter of her own. You start to sympathize from the parents perspective. Still don't want one of the raging little monsters for my own though.

 

[JWGunslinger]

Growing up I actually expeirienced both a household with two parents and one for some time. My mom met my dad while she was going to school in France, they got married and I was born in Strausburg. Then through their marriage they fought alot(mainly because my dad can never be wrong), they divorced and my mom and I moved back to California where her family was and moved in with my grandma and grandpa. While the whole divorce thing sucked I loved moving to Moraga with Grandpa and Grandma, plus m aunt lived 5 minutes away so I was always surrounded by the people I loved most. On top of that my parents have kept a good relationship to this day for my sake and I respect them both for that, they could have been assholes to each other but instead accepted that it wasnt meant to be and kept things civil for their kid.
So for a good 5 years it was me and mom with her parents and then my mom remarried but to a guy she'd been close to since high school so I knew him well and didnt really feel weird with getting another dad because I felt like he already had been for some time. From then on they've been together and I love them both but my mom has always been the one that was there for me and to this day is still there for me. I dont want to discredit my dad(the second) because he's always there for me when I need him and he supports me in chasing my dreams. I also am thankful that he came along because I feel as though the time without a father damaged my confidence a bit, I was very happy but without a dad there something was missing and I'm happy to have that now.