[OFFICIAL] Lariat's sex life thread...*ADULTS ONLY*

[It's...Baylariat!]

This isn't to brag about conquests. NO really. It isn't. However, I seriously have had some fucked up shit happen to me in the sex department. Like today for example. I pulled off what's called the 'Lariat Daily Double'.

Backstory: I'm now promoted to what's called a CEU Agent at my call center, which means I take calls about fees that escalate to a supervisor. Which means I'm considered on par with management in my field and I only answer to the Site Director.

So today, me and the MILF I've been sleeping with...slept together. Fucked if you will. Like real hard, too. This was at 12:45 PM today. This is no strings attached, no worrying about feelings. It's about what limits I can take this mother of three.

NOW...onto tonight. NorCal knows about her, but there's another girl...younger, not a mom, and sexy. We've been talking back and forth for about a couple of months now, just as casual friends and now, technically, her supervisor. I got her number a while back...so I decided to give her a call after work. She was off today. We talk, and she says she's at her apartment alone...doing nothing. I offer to come over as a joke...like, 'Bet if I came over, you wouldn't be so bored. lulz.' NO way she thought I was serious. But she said, 'Sure, I'll wait up for you.' So I went to her apartment...and at 12:45 AM...my penis was inside this girl. Who knew?

And NO she doesn't know I'm fucking a boss at work, which happens to be...wait for it...her MANAGER! *Cue Dramatic Organ Music*

This is going to be interesting. Maybe. And both like anal, too. One more than the other. Anyway, discuss all things Lariat or things that are of a sexual nature.

 

[Dexter]

I wish I was awesome.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

It's the first time ever, man. I was like...am I seriously getting different pussy 12 hours apart?

I had a shitty week, and this made it less shitty.

 

[Freddy4190]

Pussy almost always cures feeling bad. Hoorah for vagina!

 

[C.M.]

I wish I had your fucking luck

 

[Coco]

I recently *********ed nine times in a day, beating my previous record of eight.

Wow, it's really been a bad year.

 

[Viola Moonlight]

Keep them separated...

 

[Murfish]

I thought the milf was mad at you for owning her son.

 

[The Rob]

Lariat... please teach me your ways.

 

[gd]

If you found out that they were sisters as well that'd be even better.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

I thought the milf was mad at you for owning her son.

Yea...we worked that out. I now have to go to a wedding.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

And there really is no set 'way' to pull that off. It's really just luck. I'm trying to get the younger one to go to night shift to get her manager's switched. That would be excellent.

 

[JenovasWitness]

I used to have some crazy shit like this happen too before I decided to get serious with my current woman. I pulled off a "Daily Triple" one time. I tried to replicate that sexual feat since that day, but the stars never aligned quite the same again after that.

But I never need stray again as my lady fucks with the might of 5 women combined. Damn I'm lucky.

As for the two women at work thing, maybe you and the MILF should book a meeting room of some kind at the office and drag the younger chick in their for a "meeting". For some "reprimanding". Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

I used to have some crazy shit like this happen too before I decided to get serious with my current woman. I pulled off a "Daily Triple" one time. I tried to replicate that sexual feat since that day, but the stars never aligned quite the same again after that.

But I never need stray again as my lady fucks with the might of 5 women combined. Damn I'm lucky.

As for the two women at work thing, maybe you and the MILF should book a meeting room of some kind at the office and drag the younger chick in their for a "meeting". For some "reprimanding". Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

Gunnz, do you have an alt?

 

[Planty]

Lariat, please don't mention something got less shitty when you say both girls liked anal, it really contradicts! Haha

Nah seriously man, that is awesome. Lucky guy.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

LOL!

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Not sex related, but my EX is texting me. We're talking no contact for nearly TWO years, and she texts me. What does the text say?

Spoiler: for what fuckin' text said

I miss you so much.

This chick is married with a toddler now. And is apparently still gorgeous according to a few buds who seen her around my local national pizza chain, which she manages. I'm not texting back.

 

[X]

Stay away. Stay far, far away.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Stay away. Stay far, far away.

Easy enough right?

Spoiler: the ex

 

[X]

Sheesh. Bit more difficult eh?

Still. Married + Kid = Stay the Fuck Away. Atleast in my book. Bad for you, bad for her, bad for her husband, and bad for her kid. No one wins. Well your penis does, but he can talk you into anything.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

She's like pretty and stuff. It's why I fell for her and was a total wussbag around her. FUCK ME! If I would have done things right, I'd be married to her. Alas, she's an idiot with some seriously epic boobs. We're talking TITANIC.

 

[D-Man]

This isn't to brag about conquests. NO really. It isn't.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... hold up. This isn't a thread for bragging? I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way because I think you're cool as fuck and wished you lived in Jersey so we could hang and party together, but come on now...

Lariat, from one sexually active adult to another, you're posting on a website that is probably at least 80% full of virgins, unpopular fellows, and boys that aren't anywhere near being sexually active. Don't you have other friends at home to discuss this stuff with?? LOL!!

(Either way, nice score )

 

[JenovasWitness]

With personal experience as my guide, any contact you have with your exes years later that begin with "I miss you so much" is a road to emotional turmoil that you are not in need of walking.

Titanic boobies or not.

This may sound harsh, but 9 times out of 10, the reasons why you are exes now would be the reason why you would be exes again very shortly if there was any sort of reconciliation.

Titanic boobies or not.

Plus, if she is married, no self respecting husband would let that slide if he found out. So unless you have a black belt in shotgun shell dodging, I would just stay the hell away.

Titanic boobies...you get the idea.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Whoa, whoa, whoa... hold up. This isn't a thread for bragging? I hope you don't take any of this the wrong way because I think you're cool as fuck and wished you lived in Jersey so we could hang and party together, but come on now...

Lariat, from one sexually active adult to another, you're posting on a website that is probably at least 80% full of virgins, unpopular fellows, and boys that aren't anywhere near being sexually active. Don't you have other friends at home to discuss this stuff with?? LOL!!

(Either way, nice score )

LOL. Ya caught me. We'll call it a thread of inspiration. And I do have other friends to discuss this with, but their advice was quote, "Fuck her. Like hard and stuff."