CWI Frontal Assault 8/25/2006

[CKO1986]

We open the broadcast with Sgt. Slaughter driving up to the camera in a Hummer; he jumps out, points directly at the lens and tells the viewer to put down the remote and start watching the show, "and that's an order!"

Cut to pyrotechnics display inside the Wachovia Center, then pan to Gorilla Monsoon and Jerry "The King" Lawler at their ringside broadcast table.

Gorilla: They call this the City of Brotherly Love, King, but somehow I don't think we'll be seeing much of that tonight...

King: Especially not in the Far East title match!

We then head to the ring as Lillian Garcia introduces our opening bout; "Big" reverberates from the Wachovia Center PA and the Big Show strides down the aisle to deafening pops from the crowd...

The Big Show vs. Outlaw Ron Bass

This is your basic squash match. Show swats the Outlaw away like he was a mosquito; Bass never even comes close to landing a blow on the 500-pounder, who puts an early end to Bass' night with his patented Showstopper chokeslam for the 1-2-3. After the bell rings to end the match, Show picks up a mic and says he's looking to take the CWI Extreme belt from Bruiser Brody.

Your winner by pinfall: The Big Show at 3 minutes and 24 seconds.

Fade to the backstage area, where we see Michael Cole interviewing Randy Orton, Barry Windham, and Chavo Guerrero; RKO boasts that even with Chris Masters on the shelf, his team will wipe the mat with Lex Luger's team. J.J. Dillon adds that Carlito will be feeling anything but cool before the night is over.

From there we cut to the Heenan Family dressing room, where former CWI United States champion Curt Hennig is busy getting himself psyched up for his match against current champion Triple H. To give him extra motivation, Bobby "The Brain" Heenan is endlessly replaying tapes of the "green paint" incident...

Fade to 30-second promo for Throwdown.

We return from the break with Gorilla and the King reviewing the circumstances that led to the Bruiser Brody-Ken Shamrock bout later tonight for the CWI Extreme title. The camera then pans up to the ring as Dave Penzer introduces the champion and challenger.

CWI Extreme title match/Bruiser Brody(champion) vs. Ken Shamrock(challenger)

The match starts with Brody scoop-slamming Shamrock through a card table; Shamrock returns the favor at the three-minute by cracking the champion over the head with a trash can. By the time the match is seven minutes old the ring canvas is littered with splinters from broken chairs, debris from the smashed card table, and a seriously mangled ladder that the World's Most Dangerous Man hit Brody over the head with twice...

Outside the ring, Gary Hart is urging his protege to get back on track and dismantle Shamrock....

To be continued...

 

[CKO1986]

Continuing from my previous post...

CWI Extreme title match/Bruiser Brody(champion) vs. Ken Shamrock(challenger)(continued)

At the ten-minute mark of this match, Bruiser Brody has a cut in his forehead the size of the Grand Canyon, but he seems to neither notice nor care; he's busy trying to choke the living daylights out of Shamrock. It's only by a miracle that the challenger makes it to the ropes and forces Brody to release the chokehold.

Outside the ring, Gary Hart harangues Shamrock, taunting him as not being fit to polish Jake Milliman's boots let along Brody's...

Gorilla: If I were Gary Hart I'd make my words humble ones...he may be eating them before this match is over!

King(chortling):I don't think so, Gorilla!

Brody powerbombs Shamrock and is getting ready to deliver his famous knee drop on the World's Most Dangerous Man when he hears Hart frantically shouting a warning from the arena floor; the champion turns around just in time to get nailed by an Arabian facebuster from Sabu. Seizing the day, Shamrock cinches in his patented ankle, and after just a minute Brody is frantically tapping out.

Your winner and new CWI Extreme champion: Ken Shamrock by submission at 14 minutes 57 seconds.

Camera zooms in on a shellshocked Gary Hart as referee Joey Marella hands the CWI Extreme title belt to an elated Shamrock.

Gorilla: Poetic justice, if you ask me...

King: Poetic justice nothing-- Brody was robbed!

Cut to Jonathan Coachman backstage with Lex Luger, Carlito, and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake; Lex quips that Dillon looks like he could stand a new haircut, while Bruti mentions that his team will be bringing an old friend of Chavo's with them to the ring for tonight's match. Carlito wraps things up by saying that beating the @#$%! out of Randy Orton will be really cool.

Fade to Anthony Chimel introducing the next match of the evening.

John Cena vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

The Beast From The East proves too much for the Doctor of Thuganomics; using his unique combination of massive size and blinding speed, Bam Bam smacks Cena around like a rag doll; after the five-minute mark, it's a minor miracle he's even still conscious, let alone in the match. After nailing Cena with a running powerslam, Bam Bam administers the crowning blow with a splash off the ropes for the 1-2-3.

Your winner: Bam Bam Bigelow by pinfall at 6 minutes and 4 seconds.

As a torrent of boos rains down from the crowd, Bam Bam picks up the mic and boasts that his victory over Cena is just the beginning of a major run that will catapult him all the way to the CWI world heavyweight title. He challenges Dave Batista to a rematch at Throwdown and makes some rather tasteless comments about the champ's sexual orientation before finally exiting the ring.

Fade to a quick shot of Triple H polishing the CWI United States title belt.

King: He could be looking at that title for the last time!

Gorilla: Maybe he's just shining it up so he can shove it in Bobby Heenan's face after he whales the tar out of Mr. Perfect!!

Fade to 20-second add for CWI.com.

 

[CKO1986]

As we return from the CWI.com promo, the picture on the screen alternates between shots of the aisle and the DX entrance video; the camera follows X-Pac down the aisle with Chyna at his side as he gets ready to defend the cruiserweight belt against Eddie Gilbert. Just to the right of the center of the ring we see Missy Hyatt hurling every insult she can think of at the Ninth Wonder of the World as X-Pac and Gilbert stare each other down...

CWI cruiserweight title match/X-Pac(champion) vs. "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert(challenger)

Eddie takes the early advantage in this bout, using eye gouges and kicks to the stomach to take some of the wind out of X-Pac's sails; at the ten-minute mark, however, the champion's martial arts talents start coming into play and "Hot Stuff" finds himself getting knocked off his pins by some fierce roundhouse kicks and knife-edge chops to the throat. Missy tries to interfere on Gilbert's behalf only to get yanked off the ring apron and tossed into the crowd by Chyna. At the fifteen-minute mark the champion wallops Gilbert with a Bronco Buster, then knocks him out cold with the X-Factor for the 3-count.

Your winner and still CWI cruiserweight champion: X-Pac by pinfall at 15 minutes and 17 seconds.

Cut to Gorgeous George's dressing room, where we see him styling his hair and checking out the sequins on his robe; we then dissolve to a clip of New Jack hammering away at a punching bag in one of the workout rooms at the Wachovia Center. From there we fade to Tony Schiavone talking with former CWI Far East champion Stan "The Lariat" Hansen; Hansen rants that he was jobbed out of the Far East title and says that he won't quit until he takes back what's rightfully his.

Fade back to ringside as Dave Penzer introduces the next match....

"The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes vs. Pampero Firpo

The Dream and the Wild Bull of the Pampas hit each other with punches and kicks you seldom see outside of a barroom brawl. At least a dozen times this bout comes close to ending in a double countout; twice Firpo almost gets disqualified for being too slow to release a headlock on Dusty. At the nine-minute mark Firpo tries to apply his famous crush bearhug...

King: Hey, Gorilla, what's Spanish for "I quit"?

Gorilla: I don't know, but we won't be hearing it from Dusty, I guarantee that!

Dusty breaks up the bearhug attempt with a kick to Firpo's belly and then scoop-slams him so hard fans in the nosebleed section can hear it. After a pair of legdrops, he German-suplexes Firpo into the ringpost before administering the crowning blow with the bionic elbow for the 1-2-3.

Your winner: Dusty Rhodes by pinfall at 12 minutes and 43 seconds.

As Dusty is basking in the plaudits of the crowd, Johnny Valentine pops up from out of nowhere and clocks him in the back of the head with a chair; all that accomplishes, however, is to make the American Dream turn around and wag his finger as if to say "You shouldn't have done that, son" right before he decks Valentine with a roundhouse right and piledrives him right on the same chair he hit Dusty with just moments earlier...

Gorilla: Pardon the pun, King, but this isn't Valentine's day!

King: I guess not!

As a dazed Johnny Valentine stumbles out of the ring, we fade to Josh Matthews standing by with the Briscoe Brothers, who tell him that they're going to end the Legion of Doom's CWI tag team title reign here in Philadelphia.

And speaking of titles, it's time for our next match...

CWI women's title match/Mildred Burke(champion) vs. Jacqueline(challenger)

The champion's greater speed and agility counterbalances the challenger's superior size, and for fifteen-odd minutes neither woman can get a clear advantage; as we near the twenty-minute mark, however, Jacqueline misses an elbow drop and Burke capitalizes on the flub by clamping the challenger in a sleeper hold. The former WWE diva tries to claw her way out of it, but the champion has it cinched in too tight and at the 21-minute mark referee Jim Corderas calls for the bell.

Your winner and still CWI women's champion: Mildred Burke by submission at 21 minutes and 7 seconds.

Cut to Michael Cole standing by backstage with Curt Hennig and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan; Henning says that Triple H was lucky eight days ago and that his luck is going to run out in Philadelphia. Heenan adds that after Mr. Perfect kicks Triple H's butt and regains the CWI United States title, the rest of the Heenan Family will beat the (bleep) out of D-Generation X.

Cole then sends it over to Mike Tenay, who's with Triple in the DX dressing room. The Game says that if any beatings are going to be administered at the Wachovia Center tonight, they're going to be done by DX. And if Heenan and Hennig don't like that, he's got two words for them-- S*CK IT!

Fade to a hallway elsewhere in the Wachovia Center, where we see Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson striding towards the curtain leading to the ring as they wait to be introduced for their debut match against the Fabulous Kangaroos.

Cut to a 25-second plug for the Road to Throwdown tour.

 

[CKO1986]

Fade to Dave Penzer introducing the next match. AC/DC's "TNT" blasts from the Wachovia Center PA as Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson make their way to the ring with J.J. Dillon walking between them....

Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson vs. the Fabulous Kangaroos

In true Horsemen fashion, Tully and Double A brutalize the Kangaroos relentlessly; by the seven-minute mark of this match Roy Heffernan looks like he got run over by a semi--twice. After an atomic drop on Al Costello by Blanchard, Anderson administers the crowning blow with a DDT for the three-count and the victory. After the bell rings to signal the end of the match, Dillon picks up the mic to tell the crowd that they're looking at the next CWI world tag team champions.

Your winners: Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson by pinfall at 8 minutes and 42 seconds.

Fade to Mike Tenay with the Legion of Doom and Paul Ellering; Ellering tells the Professor there's only one way the Briscoes are going to get the CWI tag team championship...over Hawk and Animal's dead bodies. Hawk adds that he and Animal plan to do to Jack and Jerry Briscoe what Reggie White used to do to opposing quarterbacks when he was playing for the Eagles.

Cut back to ringside, where we hear the crowd go berserk as Lillian Garcia introduces the next bout...

Triple threat CWI Far East title match/"Macho Man" Randy Savage(champion) vs. Stan "The Lariat" Hansen(challenger #1) vs. Jun Akiyama(challenger #2)

Jun Akiyama gets in the first blow in this match, knocking Hansen off his feet with a standing dropkick; he then proceeds to execute his patented Exploder suplex on the champion and follows it up with a flying kneedrop. He tries to make the cover but Savage quickly kicks out and starts assaulting him with knife-edged chops and kicks to the sternum; after a belly-to-belly suplex, the champion proceeds to put a chinlock on Akiyama....

To be continued

 

[CKO1986]

Continuing from my previous post....

Triple threat CWI Far East title match/"Macho Man" Randy Savage(champion) vs. Stan "The Lariat" Hansen(challenger #1) vs. Jun Akiyama(challenger #2)

Just as Akiyama is about to pass out cold, Hansen nails Savage with a kick to the small of the back; the former CWI Far East champion then slingshots the Macho Man against the top rope and clobbers him with a bulldog on the rebound. Hansen tries to pin him, but Savage kicks out at 2½ and starts whaling away at the Lariat with a furious series of closed fists. He Irish whips Hansen into the ropes and is about to go for a clothesline when Akiyama catches the former Far East champion in mid-stride with a running high knee; he then executes a Death Valley Driver on Savage and nails Hansen with his patented Blue Thunder power bomb for the 3-count and the title.

Your winner and new CWI Far East champion: Jun Akiyama by pinfall at 22 minutes and 14 seconds.

As the new Far East champion walks back to the locker room with his hard-earned title, an infuriated Hansen grabs the timekeeper's bell and busts Savage across the face with it; as Elizabeth starts to intervene in Savage's defense, Hansen nails her with a lariat and piledrives her twice. CWI officials surround Hansen and drag him out of the ring, but not before he spits a huge wad of tobacco juice at the fallen Savage.

Gorilla: If I were Commissioner Thesz, I wouldn't wait two seconds before banning this (bleep) from CWI permanently! There is just no excuse for his actions!...

Fade to Jim Ross standing by with "Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels, who says he's going to "shock the world" tonight by making Sgt. Slaughter tap out. He follows up by mentioning that he's got his sights set on Ken Shamrock's CWI Extreme title, then turns and heads back to his dressing room.

Fade to 30-second spot for Throwdown.

 

[CKO1986]

As we return from the Throwdown promo, we hear massive pops from the crowd as Howard Finkel introduces the next matches...

CWI United States title match/Triple H(champion) vs. "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig(challenger)

Right off the bat, Mr. Perfect flaunts his contempt for DX by throwing his trademark towel in the Game's face. Could it be a ploy to throw the champion off his stride?

King: That's a great psych job on Perfect's part...Trips'll be so (bleep)ed off he can't think straight!

Gorilla: I don't know, King, I think the challenger might be flirting with disaster here...pulling a stunt like that on the Game is waving a red flag in front of a bull...

Sure enough, the Cerebral Assassin quickly retaliates for Hennig's stunt by nailing him with a torrent of roundhouse rights and forearm smashes; he follows those up with an Irish whip/flying tackle combo. Out on the arena floor Bobby "The Brain" Heenan is trading harsh words with Stephanie McMahon...

Gorilla: I swear, King, sometimes I think the Brain has a death wish...

King: Can you blame him for being irate? She just called him a weasel! You know how he hates that, Gorilla!

Gorilla: Personally, I think-- I DON'T BELIEVE IT! KING KONG BUNDY JUST AMBUSHED STEPHANIE FROM BEHIND! THIS WAS A MUGGING! THIS WAS A SETUP!

Outraged by this blatant hit job, Triple H leaps out of the ring and starts going after Bundy only to have the rest of the Heenan Family come out to ringside and start pummeling him mercilessly; this in turn brings the Game's DX pals out to retaliate with an assault on Hennig, and after what seems like an eternity of brawling the flustered referee has no choice but to call for a double DQ.

Double disqualification at 21 minutes and 17 seconds; Triple H retains CWI United States title.

A veritable battalion of security personnel comes out to finally break up the mini-riot; as the Game is being hustled back to the DX locker room, he yells to Heenan that the next time they're face to face he'll slit the Brain's throat.

Cut to Mike Tenay standing by with Sgt. Slaughter; Slaughter tells the Professor that Chris Daniels is a worthless maggot and a disgrace to America, and he aims to teach the Fallen Angel a thing or two about respect. He adds that he has a few scores to settle with Gorgeous George and Rick Rude.

Fade to one-minute promo for the Road to Throwdown live events tour.

 

[CKO1986]

We turn from the Road to Throwdown spot with Anthony Chimel introducing the six-man tag match. "Chavito Ardiento" blasts from the Wachovia Center PA as Chavo Guerrero, Barry Windham, and Randy Orton roll down the aisle in a custom-built solid gold lowrider...

Six-man tag team match/ Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, "Total Package" Lex Luger, & Carlito vs. "Legend-Killer" Randy Orton, Chavo Guerrero, & Barry Windham

The crowd boos J.J. Dillon as he takes the mic to deliver a rant basically saying that Chris Masters was framed because the CWI brass didn't want his team to win this match; coming out to the ring with his own mic in hand, Lex Luger tells Dillon that he's full of (bleep), that Masters purposely got himself thrown out of the match because he knew he'd his clock cleaned.

Randy Orton's team responds by jumping out of the ring and assaulting Luger's team as they're passing the timekeeper's table; Chavo and Carlito are trading punches near the ring steps while Luger and Orton are duking it out in the stands. Up in the ring, Beefcake has Windham backed up into a neutral corner...

Gorilla: Looks like Barry's going to be getting a free haircut later tonight!

King: Beefcake wouldn't dare!

The Barber Irish-whips Barry into the ropes and nails him with a knee lift to the gut, but before he can try for the pin RKO catches him from behind and suplexes him out onto the arena floor. As the Barber tries to get back to his feet Dillon starts kicking him the ribs, prompting Luger to nail the Four Horsemen manager with a flying axhandle.

At the fifteen-minute mark RKO tags in Chavo Guerrero, who runs like a scalded cat from Luger and tags Barry Windham back into the match. Barry powerslams the Total Package and follows it up with a superplex; just when it looks like it's all over, however, Luger gets his foot on the rope and forces Windham to break the cover. Barry starts to set Luger up for another superplex only to have the Total Package block it and gorilla press him; Luger then tags in Carlito, who puts Windham's lights out with the Overdrive for the 3-count and the victory.

Your winners: Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, Carlito, and "Total Package" Lex Luger by pinfall at 18 minutes and 49 seconds.

Camera pans to Bruti reaching for his scissors and starting to approach Barry Windham, who bolts out of the ring and flees back to the dressing room just as fast as his bruised legs can carry him. Behind them, Orton is glaring at Luger, threatening that he'll destroy the Total Package once he's gotten rid of Beefcake.

Cut to a 20-second ad for the official CWI logo T-shirt.

Fade to Gorilla and the King discussing the possible fallout from the DX/Heenan Family brawl and Stan Hansen's post-Far East title match attack on Elizabeth. We then cut back to the ring as Dave Penzer introduces the final match on the undercard...

Sgt. Slaughter vs. "Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels

True to his word, the Sarge teaches Daniels a thing or two about respect, pounding him like a bass drum from start to finish; the former NWA X Division champion finds himself hopelessly outmatched against the ex-Marine, and before you can say "squash match" Daniels is tapping out to Sarge's famous Cobra Clutch.

Your winner: Sgt. Slaughter by submission at 6 minutes and 11 seconds.

Fade to 45-second promo for Throwdown.

 

[CKO1986]

Coming back from the Throwdown promo, the Wachovia Center crowd is on its feet as Lillian Garcia introduces Frontal Assault's explosive main event...

CWI world tag team title match/The Legion of Doom(champions) vs. Jack & Jerry Briscoe(challengers)

The Briscoes take the early advantage in this bout, softening up Hawk with a burst of short clotheslines and flying tackles; the first tag-out of the match comes at the four-minute mark as Jerry makes way for his brother Jack. After a piledriver by Jack Briscoe on Hawk, the challengers come within a cat's whisker of pulling off the upset-- but Hawk just manages to get his the foot on the rope at the last second, and the advantage soon shifts to the LOD as Hawk reverses an Irish whip by Jerry Briscoe and nails him with a flying dropkick.

Near the fifteen-minute mark, Animal suplexes Jack Briscoe from the second rope and goes for the cover, but Jack kicks out at 2½ and before long Animal's being double-teamed by the Briscoe Brothers. Out on the arena floor, manager Paul Ellering berates the referee for not breaking it up....

The challengers execute a near-perfect face-first suplex on Animal....

King: Don't look now, Gorilla, but it looks like history might repeat itself!

Gorilla: Unfortunately, King, you may be right! The cover--1....2...ANIMAL KICKS OUT! ANIMAL KICKS OUT! THE CHAMPIONS ARE STILL IN IT!

Animal then goes on a rampage, tossing Jack Briscoe over the top rope and attacking Jerry with a series of clotheslines and elbow smashes; by the twenty-two minute mark, Jerry Briscoe looks and feels like something the cat dragged in after running it over with an 18-wheeler. After that it's just a matter of seconds until LOD floors him with the Doomsday Device to get the three-count and the victory.

Your winners and still CWI world tag team champions: The Legion of Doom by pinfall at 22 minutes and 39 seconds.

The champs exit the ring to a raucous ovation from the Wachovia Center crowd; camera then cuts back to Gorilla Monsoon and Jerry "The King" Lawler inviting the viewers to join them again on September 23rd when CWI broadcasts Throwdown live from the American Airlines Arena in Miami.

Cut to a video package of highlights from the show played to the rhythm of Will Smith's "Switch", then fade to black as Frontal Assault goes off the air.

The End