FunKay's Look at Villains

[FunKay the Inevitable]

After a one week hiatus, FunKay's Look at Villains returns with someone who doesn't quite fit the typical villainous mould. Someone who's end game may be for the greater good, and someone who has a creepier laugh than the Joker. A master at facial expressions and he more than likely got an A in writing skills:

Light Yagami

Light Yagami is an above average student in modern day Japan. He has strong beliefs and is incredibly intelligent. One day, Light's world changes forever as he discovers a Death Note, which is a Shinigami's (God of Death) notebook where they write down who they wish to die and how. Light tests the notebook to make sure it's real and after a couple of successful trials, discovers it's power to be true. This incredible power, coupled by Light's strong moral code, turn Light into something, not physically, but mentally. Light begins to believe he is going to create a better, new world and begins referring to himself as he God of this new world or as the press and the people begin calling him; Kira!

Kira strikes all over the world killing the most high profile criminals across the globe. With a pattern developing, the International Criminal Police Organization (or Interpol) send the world's greatest detective after him; L. L is a shadowy figure hid in secrecy and as such it makes it impossible for Light to kill L. A game of wits ensues between the two super-genius' that could very well shape the face of the planet. Light falls under suspicion during the Kira investigation due to his father being the head of the Japanese Task Force that works with L. Light uses brilliant methods to avoid detection. L remains suspect and the game continues as Light & L actually meet one-another.

When added elements begin to play havoc with Light's plans (such as other Death Note's entering the human world), Light forces himself to forget the weapon of death, at least for the time being and work with his enemy L after being granted a place on the task-force. L, Light and the other task force members bring down another Kira. Little did anyone (including Light) know that the plan of Kira all along was to manipulate events so that Light ended up with two notebooks, and his memory restored, accompany this with L being backed into a corner, and Light has an almost perfect victory. By this point in time Light has become so twisted, so disturbed that his vision of the perfect world, which could once be considered to be a bright and wonderful idea, has turned into something dark and sinister.

This isn't the whole Light Yagami story due to my hesitance to spoil Death Note, as I think it's a truly wonderful series and my all time favourite manga. If you'd like to know more about Light then go to Wikipedia as I'm going to stop here.

The Facts:
- Has God like powers.
- Manipulative.
- Perfectionist.
- Hundreds of thousands of people (possibly millions and no I'm not making that up) die either by his hand or through his influence.
- The creepiest laugh this side of Mark Hamill in Batman the Animated Series:

[YOUTUBE]7E5YgafXKDU[/YOUTUBE]​

- Oh and there's this:

Spoiler

SPOILER​

Spoiler

[YOUTUBE]E1pBEJAZ4Vc[/YOUTUBE]​

Light Yagami is one of my favourite characters and for good reason. He's a character that's very well written and his story is incredible. Death Note is a magnificent series. The facial expressions alone make Light awesome. The problem here is just how evil is Light Yagami? Well it totally depends on how you look at it. In the first half of the series, Light gets more and more sinister to the point where when we reach part two of the series, Light is totally and utterly immersed in the Kira persona and is obsessed with creating the new world. It's a tricky one but with his good intentions, I can't give the boy full marks:

8/10​

Next Time: He's got the Brass to Fire Your Ass.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

So we've had costumed nutjobs, tooth destroyers, dream killers and even wannabe God's, but can anyone prepare you for the next, diabolical fiend that is the one and only:

Mr. McMahon

That's right, this week we're taking a look at one of wrestling's greatest villains, the one and only Mr. McMahon, or Vince to those who know him personally.

Vincent Kennedy McMahon led Titan Sports to the purchase of the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) a company he's ruled with an iron fist ever since. At age 37, McMahon owned the company and very quickly took it to new heights it hadn't seen before. Built on the back of Hulk Hogan, the WWF took off like a rocket in the 1980's, becoming hugely popular with its colourful superstars and it's cross-promoting with various celebrities such as Mr. T and Cyndi Lauper. His greatest achievement could well be WrestleMania III which saw Hogan's finest moment, body slamming the enormous Andre the Giant. McMahon's company would suffer in the mid 90's from a number of problems before he finally conceded he would have to change methods and it was here that the Attitude Era was born, and out of it was forged the great villain that became Mr. McMahon.

Until 1997, McMahon was only ever recognised as a broadcaster, working the commentary booth at ringside and conducting interviews backstage, however he left this position that year. At the 1997 Survivor Series McMahon was behind the 'Montreal Screwjob'. This incident inspired a lot of real hatred directed towards McMahon who took the idea and ran with it, acknowledging he was the owner of the company and becoming a part of the weekly television. In 1998 McMahon began a feud with the WWF's biggest superstar at the time (and arguably the only man who can claim to be a bigger star than Hulk Hogan); "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. McMahon wanted Austin to fit into his corporate mould and stop being so rebellious, represent the company and wear a suit. Following WrestleMania 14, it seemed Austin would do this appearing in a suit the night after the supercard, before revealing it was a ruse and popping Vince in the balls for good measure. I t was only the start of a greater feud.

McMahon had enough of Austin and soon began plotting to take the WWF Championship from the native of Texas. After initial plans involving Mick Foley's Dude Love persona failed, McMahon approached Kane about taking the championship from Austin in a first blood match. Kane was victorious and it marked the first major win in McMahon's war on Austin, however it was short lived. Austin regained his belt the following night. McMahon's desire to see the belt off of Austin was now greater as he began conspiring to have Kane & the Undertaker get the championship off of Austin and after a summer of titanic battles, McMahon was able to do just that, stripping Austin of the belt following Kane and the Undertaker both pinning Austin. McMahon now needed a new champion to take Austin's place and at the Survivor Series, one year on from the infamous screwjob, that champion took shape in the form of The Corporate Champion; The Rock.

Rock was McMahon's perfect champion. Someone who could look good in a suit but also get it done in the ring. The former 'People's Champ' was in essence McMahon's personal favourite. The epic war between Austin and McMahon did not slow down however as the pair collided at the Royal Rumble with McMahon winning the event at Austin's expense. Austin regained a foothold in the feud as he won a match that sent him to the main event of WrestleMania 15 against the Rock where Austin emerged with the championship. McMahon however was sidetracked from the war by the Undertaker's Ministry of Darkness who were attempting to seize control of the WWF from McMahon. Naturally McMahon attempted to take down the Undertaker, however he was now without his corporate team as they had joined forces with Undertaker. The biggest twist yet came however as McMahon himself was revealed to be the Higher Power behind the Ministry, a group that had come into essence to defeat Austin once and for all. The final battle in the feud took place at Fully Loaded 1999 when Austin defeated Undertaker in a first blood match and McMahon was forced to leave WWF TV.

Naturally McMahon was back within months, but he wasn't the same villainous self he had been. Instead he was a fan favourite, something that lasted until WrestleMania 16 when McMahon cost the Rock the main event and helped solidify the McMahon-Helmsley Era (the union of Triple H, his DX group and the McMahon's and there lackey's). The team lasted throughout 2000 with mixed success before finally leading to The Two Man Powertrip; a team consisting of Triple H and McMahon's former arch foe; Steve Austin. The duo were managed by McMahon and they even had the WWF Championship, the Intercontinental Championship and the Tag Team Championships at one point. The pair broke apart following an injury to Triple H. McMahon has been on TV fairly often since the incident, however recently he hasn't appeared so often after he lost a feud to Bret Hart and was taken out by the Nexus.

The Facts
- Screwed Bret Hart.
- Conspired for Over a Year to Destroy Steve Austin.
- Led his own stable; The Corporation.
- Was the Higher Power of the Undertaker's Ministry (It's me Austin! It was me all along Austin!').
- Made life miserable for anyone who has dared cross him.

You can say whatever you want about wrestling villains, but they don't get much bigger, or more evil than Mr. McMahon. He's one of the greatest promo men there has ever been and even has held the WWF Championship. Vince is unquestionably an evil man; however he has spent time as a face, particularly during periods of 1999-2000, 2004-2005 and 2010 until the present. It's for this that I have to give McMahon;

9/10​

Next Time: He functions for your destruction.

 

[Hazardous]

Bravo. How Vince slipped my mind I'm not quite sure, but he is probably one of the more evil guys on here so far.. At times. That could be why he's a 9, and not a 10. If this was done back when he won the Royal Rumble? Then I'd say 10.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

From an ego-centric owner of a wrestling company, we take you to the dark, the evil, the diabolical;

Megatron - Generation 1

Megatron came into this world in the midst of a war against the Autobots. On his home planet, Cybertron, Megatron came from humble beginnings, as a gladiator with aspirations of becoming so much more. He and the Decepticons were the first Cybertronians to discover the ability to transform and used it to go to war with the Autobots, with whom they clashed in both ideals. The war caused Cybertron to fall out of it's own orbit, descending into an asteroid cluster. This accompanied for a need to end the war saw both the Ark (the Autobot ship) and the Nemesis (the Decepticon ship) travel through time, before crashing to prehistoric Earth. Both forces would awaken several million years later in 1984.

With the Decepticon crew awakened, Megatron began constructing a variety of nutty and evil schemes, most of which involved him harvesting energon from Earth in order to help the Decepticons still on Cybertron, transferring it via a Space Bridge. Almost every time, the Autobots stopped Megatron. However, in the year 2005, Cybertron fell to Megatron and his forces of darkness and a dark reign began. The year 2005 would also see another great, personal success for Megatron as he defeated and mortally wounded Optimus Prime in a battle on Earth. Megatron was also wounded gravely and it was this oppertunity that allowed Starscream, a constant source of conflict within the Decepticons, particularly with Megatron, to seize control of the Decepticons. Megatron was offered a new lease of life though by the world devourer Unicron, however he would become a totally different Tranformer, and a story for a later date.

The Facts
- The Leader of the Decepticons
- Declared war against the Autobots
- Conquered Cybertron
- Killed Optimus Prime

Megatron is a dastardly character, they're can be no doubt. He's freaking evil to put it mildly and he'll stop at nothing to get his results. On numerous occasions he's come very close, but he never gave up, leading to eventual victories and two very important ones over the Autobots, resulting in the victory of Cybertron and the death of Optimus. Megatron is a man who gets results by any means necessary, even if he does have a tendency to lose more often than not.

10/10​

Next Time: Respect his authoritah!!!

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

This week on FunKay's look at villains we delve into the mind of a true mad man...or is that boy. Growing up in the mountains of Colorado and made out of cardboard, it can only be the one, the only;

Eric Cartman

Most children spend there chilhood enjoying cartoons, hating homework and eating candy. Eric Cartman does indeed enjoy all these things, but unlike most children. Eric has taken over the Somalian pirate ring, fought a midget, waged war against Judaism in the name of Mel Gibson and had a boy he hates family slaughtered. Oh and his mom's a ****. Eric Cartman is possibly everything that could be wrong with a person, all rolled up into one twisted package. He's a racist, foul mouthed, over-weight, aggressive, narcissistic sociopath whose own friends dislike him. He's simply put, not a nice kid.

How did such a wretched human being come to be created though? Well that stories a wee bit hazy and has changed a couple of times. At first Cartman was on a quest to discover his father, however after a variety of candidates turned out to be false, and an incident that involved a scientest obsessed with cloning beign shot as well as the death of Eric Roberts (by cannibalism no less), Cartman learned his mother was in fact his father and a hermaphrodite at that. His mother was later revealed to be Mrs. Tenorman, someone Cartman had arranged to be murdered in the 5th Season episode of South Park entitled Scott Tenroman Must Die.

Tenroman was also the victim of Cartman's most devious plot as the chubby villain fell to many of Tenorman's pranks (usually revolving around pubes). These pranks drove Cartman to a place where no one thought he would go; he had Mr. & Mrs. Tenroman killed by a nutty farmer and fed them to their unsuspecting son. This one incident has shown that Cartman is someone not to be fucked with. He's normally found pissing off Kyle (and sometimes his other 'friends') as well as Wendy, who Cartman has a special relationship with. At one time it was hate, then for an episode it was love, and if the episode Breast Cancer Show Ever (my personal favourite) is anything to go by, it's hate again.

The Facts
- Had people killed
- Has Attempted to wage war on the Jews many times
- Fought a Midget & a Girl
- Overweight, immature, spoiled, lazy, foul-mouthed, mean-spirited, racist, sexist, anti-semitic, sociopathic, narcissistic, and ill-tempered third-then fourth-grader

Cartman is truly the most devious character in South Park lore (yes that includes the Guinea Pirate). He's been the villain in more than one episode and is basically the main antagonist for the series. He's simply put a horrible, horrible person and really shouldn't be allowed to come into our homes every night, but damn if he isn't a funny young man.

10/10​

Next Time: Spyder, Spyder Burning Bright...

 

[JGlass]

Cartman will stop at nothing to get his way. He has scammed people out of their money, had people killed, started rumors that snowball into massive situations that require military involvement, and he's pissed off a lot of minorities. Eric Cartman is a terrible... TERRIBLE person, who is no doubt a 10/10 on the dastardly scale.

 

[Lee]

Not the number one villain in south park (Mr Hat is) but 100% deserving of the 10/10. He's a master maniuplator, very charasmatic and can grow a crowd with minimal effort (see gingers), the only person who's number one is himself and he won't stop until he gets that!

Great choice for sure.

 

[Da Prophet]

It's great to see Eric Cartman getting some praise, a true villain, deserving of the 10/10 rating. He is able to get people to do what he wants when he needs to. He has come up with some fantastic plans, all of which were used for his personal gain. Eric Cartman may be lazy and fat, however he is a smart kid. If he is this dangerous as a kid, I wonder what he will be like when he reaches adulthood.

I know the next villain, never was a fan.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

I'd like to thank everyone for the great response I got for the Eric Cartman entry. Next up though we travel to Africa...or is it Russia? Not really sure, but one that is for sure is that he's a cunning villain. An original member of the Sinister Six and partial inspiration for one of the top e-feders;

Kraven the Hunter

Half-brother to the Chameleon and the father of not one, but three separate villainous offspring, Kraven the Hunter was one of the very first villains to take the fight to the Amazing Spider-Man. Kraven was nothing short of dastardly, hell he even had Dick's moustache (I wonder how many people will get that joke). Kraven would prove a formidable foe for Spider-Man on several occasions, however never truly defeating him. Even a venture with fellow villains Doc Ock, Mysterio, The Sandman, Electro and The Vulture wasn't enough for Kraven to topple his arch-nemesis. He also fought with Ka-Zar in the Savage Land a couple of times; however he was defeated there as well. Manipulation of lesser villains didn't plan out to well with Kraven either as he failed to have the Gibbon take down Spider-Man as well as former lover Calypso who ended up controlling him instead of it being the other way round. Things changed though in late 1987.

Spanning all three Spider-Man titles at the time, a multi-part storyline entitled Kraven's Last Hunt took place. Written by J. M. DeMatteis and drawn by Mike Zeck, this storyline re-imagined Kraven as an old, bitter man, obsessed with finally defeating Spider-Man. He believed the only way to defeat the Spider, was to become the Spider. And so he did. In part one of this arc, Kraven shot Spider-Man. We the reader believed Peter Parker to be dead, as he was buried following the shooting. For the next two issues, Kraven assumed the role of Spider-Man, being a far more violent version of the hero. Kraven even went as far as to kill a man, however his main goal was the capture and brutalise the man-beast; Vermin. With Vermin captured, Kraven had finally, and fully beaten Spider-Man (who needed Captain America's help to defeat Vermin in an earlier storyline). Just as things seemed there darkest, Peter Parker broke free of the coffin buried deep in the ground, only tranqualised after all. Peter went on the hunt for Kraven.

Kraven told Spider-Man that he had one, and because of that, it was time for him to retire. And so he did as he released Vermin and left Spider-Man to face the damaged beast. Kraven's retirement plan wasn't your standard one though as he blew his brains out, finally fulfilling his purpose in this life. A great mystique began to build around the Kraven character as his legacy grew with more Hunters emerging. Kraven would do what all comic book characters seem to have to do and returned from the dead. A plot involving various Kravinoff family members saw Kaine (Spider-Man's deformed clone) sacrificed to bring about the return of Kraven. He would later kill his wife and first son.

The Facts
- Expert hunter.
- Increased natural human abilities thanks to Jungle Serum.
- Murdered a variety of people.
- Has totally defeated Spider-Man before, including burying him alive.

I've never been that big a fan of Kraven. He's a pretty generic villain, or at least he was until he died. There's a common theme around Spider-Man fans when it comes to Kraven, and that's that he was better when he was dead than when he was alive. Kraven's legacy was great and large when he was dead. He really wasn't the killer villain Marvel has attempted to re-invent him as later in life and he should probably have stayed dead. For the reasons I've just mentioned I'll have to take a few points off of him. On top of that, Kraven's success rate is rather bad against not only Spider-Man but Ka-Zar to. I have to award the Hunter a pretty mediocre score of:

4/10​

Next Time: He's cold, he's part of an intergalactic family empire and he's purple & white.

 

[justinsayne]

God I fucking hate Kraven, I have never read anything where he's the villain that has been remotely entertaining, I honestly just can't stand the guy at all, the last thing I've read with him in it was Venom #2, of the 3 issues out in that series, his issue was eaisly the worse, by the end of the issue was just looking forward to the next simply cause he wasn't going to have anything to do with Venom anymore, as FunKay said Kraven is just very generic, and was better off, & more interesting dead than he was alive

Next week, I'm guessing things will get a bit more sinister

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

This week we take a look at a villain who struck fear into the hearts of millions, possibly billions across the galaxy. We take a look at a man who ran an empire and struck terror into the hearts of God's. We take a look at the last villain to desire immortality by use of the Dragon Balls. WE take a look at the chilling;

Freeza

Freeza (or Freiza in the English adaption) is the ruler of a large portion of the cosmos. He's the head The Planet Trade Organisation, whose mission is to conquer planets for Freeza, and possibly sell them for a profit, or turned into homes for Freeza and his men. He's simply put, an intergalactic emperor. He rules with an iron fist though, destroying all that oppose him (if they cannot be used to benefit him) and those who outlive their usefulness. Freeza, like all good dictators, is a paranoid man though. He's terribly afraid that one day a mighty warrior of legend will arrive and defeat him; The Super Saiyan. And sure enough, Freeza would cross paths with the legend.

Freeza, afraid of the legend, destroyed the Saiyan home world; Vegeta. In doing so, he thought he'd whiped out all Saiyan's (with the exception of three he let live; the prince Vegeta, Raditz and Nappa). In actual fact Freeza set his own destruction in motion by destroying the planet. A baby was sent away from the planet just prior to the explosion, released in order to avoid destruction . The babies name? Kakarot. Kakarot arrived on Earth and was discovered by an old man. Initially hostile, Kakarot hit his head on a rock, causing amnesia and turning him into Goku, a proud warrior of Earth. Goku was re-introduced to the Saiyan race when he clashed with three of Freeza's subordinates; the other three Saiyans. Goku learned the truth about his identity. Meanwhile, across the galaxy, Freeza learned of the Dragon Balls and the ability to grant immortality after hearing of them from his Saiyan men. This led him to the planet Namek, the place where the Dragon Balls originate.

Goku and a party of his friends (and foes) soon arrived on Namek (at different times). Goku and his friends wished to resurrect their deceased friends who were killed by the Saiyans on Earth. Vegeta wished to break from Freeza, who he had always despised, and become immortal. Freeza, accompanied by his bodyguards and a legion of his best men took the Dragon Balls with relative ease. However with Vegeta, Gohan and Krillin all on Namek, Freeza struggled to complete his task and soon his men were destroyed. After his elite fighting team, the Ginyu Force reached Namek and were defeated by Goku, the Dragon was summoned and two wishes were granted before Lord Guru died, thus taking the Dragon with him. Freeza was PISSED. He had to get his own hands dirty. Fighting Vegeta, Krillin, Gohan and a resurrected Piccolo, Freeza went through a couple of transformations, demonstrating his demonic power before transforming for the final time to reveal his ultimate form. He soon killed Vegeta and began a battle with Goku.

This legendary collision saw Freeza dominate most of the fight. Outmatching Goku in almost every conceivable way, Goku used his ultimate technique, the Spirit Bomb to bring Freeza down, and supposedly kill him. The victory would not last as Freeza revealed was in fact very much alive by blasting Piccolo through the chest and killing Krillin. This caused the usually friendly Goku to snap, turning him into the Super Saiyan that Freeza had feared all along. The fight was far more even now as Goku was incredibly powered up and in fact began winning before Freeza bulked up to 100% power. This would ultimately fail though as Freeza was drained of most of his power. Resorting to cheep tactics, Freeza used two razor sharp energy disks he controlled. He thought he had Goku with this technique, but ended up cutting himself down...literally. Split into three pieces, Freeza was doomed. Having set a chain of events in effect that would see Namek destroyed, Freeza would die cold and alone. He however was granted enough power to escape the planet by Goku, instead choosing to strike against Goku with the power. Goku returned the favour, killing Freeza.

But looks can be deceiving and Freeza returned, with a newly reconstructed body, curtsey of his father King Cold. Cold and Freeza travelled to Earth to take down the heroes who had crossed him before. However he was met with a surprise opponent when arrived. A nameless young man who carried a sword. The warrior was also a Super Saiyan and struck Freeza down, slicing him in two with his sword. Freeza was finally dead.

The Facts:
- Destroyed the planet Vegeta.
- Ruler of the cosmos.
- Struck fear into the hearts of many.
- Killed millions including Vegeta, Krillin and Bardock (Goku's father).

Freeza is a nasty, nasty person. He's clever, psychotic, and above all else, ruthless. He's very smart and uses his intelligence to his own benefit throughout the Dragon Ball Z series. He even offers Goku a spot at his side before there battle. His ego though is his downfall. He believes the Saiyans will rise against him and as such rashly kills them all. That ends up killing him in the long run as he causes Goku to survive and live in a different surrounding that allows him to achieve the Super Saiyan status.

9/10​

Next Time: The greatest villain in a golden age?

 

[Shadowmancer]

Freiza is ok but really only is a major problem until trunks comes along and kills him. Which doesn't bode well for him in the long term.

So Hitler is the next one since he was a big villain in the Golden age

 

[JGlass]

Freeza loses some points for me on the Dastardly Scale entirely because of his look. I don't know why, but he looks way more like a chick than a dude to me. It might be the purple and white color combo, or maybe the lips, but something about him is very effeminate.

When I was in 5th or 6th grade my friends started really enjoying Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, but I just couldn't get into it... at all. I'd watch episodes sporadically after school just so I could understand what they were talking about, and I remember seeing Freeza and thinking that it (because I couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman or nether) was the stupidest looking villain ever. His Ginyu Force was much more intimidating than Freeza, but he was supposed to be the powerful one? And if Freeza is so powerful, than why is Goku WAY bigger than he is?

He certainly is an evil son of a gun though, I'll give you that. How come those that seek immortality always seem to be assholes?

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

The thing about Freeza was, he started out small, and got bigger, and bigger and then shrank again. The whole idea is that his final form isn't designed to be intimidating in the same way the others are. It's supposed to be deceptive.

Spoiler

The female thing has always been a major flaw in that he was voiced by a woman too which certainly didn't help him.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

Today we focus on a different sort of villain. He's a sympathetic one actually, but he's also a golden one too. He's in an endless pursuit to get one thing, and one thing only. I present to you:

Wile E. Coyote

In 1948 Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner debuted and were introduced to the world as their latest members of the Looney Tune stable. A great edition it was too as people laughed and cried (because of the laughter) at the antics of a big blue bird being chased by a hungry coyote. Initially the character of the coyote stemmed from Mark Twain's Roughing It and the following description;

"a long, slim, sick and sorry-looking skeleton" that is "a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry."

Adapted from those words, the coyote was inserted into a classic cat & mouse chase scenario. Add them to the southwest American desert and you have a classic series of cartoon shorts. In total there were 48, and they were all very, very funny. Fans sympathised with Coyote as he constantly failed to capture the Road Runner. He would eventually appear on a few occasions against Bugs Bunny. He spoke with a clear composed voice. He came across as very intelligent and a devious foe. HOWEVER, he would always fail. Perhaps it was his constant faith in the Acme Corporation, but he would always fail.

The Facts:
- Hungry. Very, very hungry.
- Crafty and resourceful.
- Doomed to repeat his own failure's.

Wile E. is a tremendous character. He's made me laugh heartily on a variety of occasions and brought a smile to my face, but that doesn't make him a good villain. In fact he's a terrible villain. He loses every time. He hasn't won once despite being around since 1948. Coyote never wins.

1/10​

Next Time: Twirl that moustache and jump in your car. Things are about to get Dastardly.

 

[Da Prophet]

Always loved Coyote and Road Runner. I've seen some of the shows and couldn't stop laughing. I agree that a rating of 1/10 is fair for Coyote as he never did get the job done. He had one goal and failed each and every time. Poor guy, felt sorry for him. Watching the shows I would end up wanting to see Coyote get the Road Runner. Always cheering him on. His plans to capture his rival were smart, dangerous and most of all funny when they went wrong. He wasn't the best villain but he was one of the funniest I have ever seen.

I'm guessing the next villain is Dick Dastardly right?

 

[IrishCanadian25]

I loved Wile E. Coyote. I often rooted for him to catch the roadrunner, whilst also rationalizing (at age 6) that if he caught the road runner, he'd eat the roadrunner, and as a result he'd have nothing to chase.

I also came to the realization that, though his scemes were often clever, the products sold to him by Acme were often defective. How many times did the Acme dynamite not blow up the small peice of the cliff the roadrunner was standing on, only to detonate the other side? Or the portable hole allowed the road runner through, but caused the coyote to crash into the side of the mountain?

That Marvin Acme. Joker to the end.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

This time round, we park ourselves in place for the analysis of a devious, conniving and twisted individual with a devilish moustache and a mutt sidekick. It can only be the antagonist of pigeons everywhere;

Dick Dastardly

A caricature of both Terry Thomas and Jack Lemmon's portrayal of Professor Fate in The Great Race, Dick Dastardly is arguably Hanna-Barbera's great villain. He's slimy, he's cunning and he has a unique look. Very few could see Dastardly and not immediately recognise that he's a villain. He's always up to something, usually cheating. He's arguably the central character of Wacky Races (after all he's the one that's always focused on) and he was so popular he got his own spin-off entitled Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines.

Dastardly's scheme's usually centre around him attempting to win a race in Wacky Races. He's car #0 and that reflects his win record in the series. He always attempts to win, but can never quite get the job done, either out-done by his own oversights or by abusing Muttley to the point of him lashing out. Dastardly did win a race once...but it was thrown out for cheating. He's also been seen on multiple occasions with a chance to win had he not cheated. In the spin-off series, Dastardly and his "Vulture Squadron" were assigned the task of stopping "Yankee-Doodle Pigeon" from delivering a message to the opposing army. Needless to say, with Dastardly's track record, he failed miserably.

The Facts:
- He's clever...most of the time too clever.
- He's got a variety of men (and mutts) at his disposal.
- Expert at handling vehicles.
- Dastardly in every sense of the word.

Dick Dastardly was a master of cheating...or so we were led to believe. He never, much like Wile E., ever managed to get the win. He was the villain and he lost every single time. The ways he lost were creative, inventive and side-splittingly hilarious. Whether it was failing to catch a pigeon or crashing his car after a failed attempt to win the race, Dastardly never did quite make it over that finish line first. However, seeing as he was able to gain some close calls and even came as high as second at points, I can't let it be a total whiteout:

2/10​

Next Time: Things go darker as we return to manga/anime with a thirst for vengeance.

 

[Lee]

Do you honestly ever think Dastardly wanted to win anything?

Save for two episode of Wake Rattle and Roll (Brazil and Russia) he never won yet he would have if not for cheating. He gets pride out of stopping others, the whole front of wanting to win a race is just an act.

The dude's a genius as well, take Dastardly and Muttley in their flying machines. They're hired to "stop the pigeon" which is clearly an American Pigeon, Dastardly didn't want to catch it and be a traitor to his country. All true evil men love their country so he thought fuck it lets be evil to the guy hiring me:
182 planes
2 Balloons
1 Ship
A gas station
A Train
A village.

Being VERY conservative in estimates thats £182million in planes, £200,000 in balloons, £1million in ships, £250,000 in gas station shizz, £1mil in train PLUS village money. He loves to cause chaos and he does.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL INDEEEEEEEEEEED

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

This week on the Look at Villains, we cast our eye over the dark(er) side of a manga/anime villain. He’s good at card games...and stabbing people with ancient Egyptian artefacts. A wielder of a Millennium Item, I present;

Yami Marik

Yami Marik is the manifestation of Marik Ishtar’s anger and hate. A split personality brought forth by the severe and painful scarring on his back. This scarring was actually a message for the great Pharaoh who inhabits Yugi Mutou (Yu-Gi-Oh!’s main character and central protagonist). The dark half is responsible for the death of Marik and his sister Ishizu’s father. The father was stabbed to death and his own scarring was cut from his back. Odion, the adopted brother of Marik, was able to keep the dark half at bay afterwards due to his faithfulness to Marik and the Ishtar clan. However, the damage was done, Marik was set onto a dark path and vowed vengeance on the Pharaoh for making him spend his life underground.

Creating the dreaded Ghouls, Marik sought to capture the most powerful Duel Monsters card in creation, realising their deep connection to Ancient Egypt and the Shadow Games of old. Marik, with the Millennium Rod and the ability to brainwash people, dispatched his Ghouls to the Battle City tournament, run by Seto Kaiba. Kaiba’s tournament had been arranged following a meeting between Kaiba and Ishizu. The tournament was really all a part of Destiny’s way of testing Yugi and the Pharaoh and a way of bringing all 3 Egyptian God cards together, so the Pharaoh could reclaim his lost memory. After losing one of the God’s to Ishizu before the tournament, Marik also lost Slifer the Sky Dragon to Yugi after his mind slave lost to Yugi. Marik however continued to attempt revenge, as he made it to the final 8 of the Battle City tournament. With Odion acting as Marik and Marik palying the role of an innocent participant in the tournament, Marik thougth his plan to capture all three Egyptian Gods was full-proof, but when Odion was put into a comatose state by a bolt of lightning, Yami Marik was set free.

Marik’s dark half was vicious, uncaring and to be frank a deeply nasty man. He defeated Mai Kujaku by beating her into submission, before sending her into a coma of her own, and unleashing a a horrible trauma educing nightmare that would kill her were she not saved within 24 hours. Marik also sent Bakura into a coma, before moving onto the semi-finals and Jonouchi/Joey who he nearly lost too, but succumbed to the physical torture that was the Egyptian God, The Winged Dragon of Ra’s Immortality Phoenix mode. Jonouchi would recover quickly though and was on hand to witness the final as Yugi/The Pharoah did battle with Marik. In perhaps the ultimate shadow game, Marik would torture not only The Pharaoh, but also Yugi and his other personality. Marik was in full control of most of the duel, until Odion awoke, allowing a momentary distraction which allowed Yugi to swap the real Marik back into control. He subsequently forfeit the duel, destroying his dark half forever.

The Facts:
- Killed the head of the Ishtar Clan.
- Responsible for the brainwashing of numerous people.
- Started the cult like group, the Ghouls.
- Sent various people into comatose states.
- An excellent card game player.
- Insane, a sadist and gets off on his own pain.

Marik was a much darker villain than the prior villain Pegasus. He was scary to not only look at, but listen to. His obsession with destroying Yugi and the Pharaoh perhaps led to some tunnel vision on his part that contributed to his ultimate defeat, but Marik left a trail of destruction in his wake, murdering his own father and causing severe trauma to the likes of Jonouchi, Mai and Bakura. If you got in his way, you were going to suffer. And because of that, Marik’s a good villain.

8/10​

Next Time: We take a look at another personal favourite of mine, from a classic Western.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

Angel Eyes

Originally intended for Charles Bronson, Angel Eyes (or Sentenza) was a sociopathic, maniacal and ruthless mercenary responsible for the deaths if many and putting fear in all (with the possible exception of "Blondie"). Angel Eyes finest (or darkest depending on your point of view) was during the American Civil War as he fought on both sides of the fence, playing both sides, making as much money as he could out of both armies as well as using the fear of the many to his own personal gain. Driven by money, Angel Eyes was able to cash in big time.

His past however is surrounded in mystery, with the fact that he has a past with both Tuco and Blondie being the only real established fact. When the duo come into contact with Angel Eyes, it is dressed as Confederate soldiers. The pair are captured by the Union and the interrogation officer is none-other than Angel Eyes. After discovering what the pair are up to (they're searching for a large amount of gold buried in a cemetery. Tuco knows where the cemetery is, while Blondie knows which grave it is, but neither has enough trust in the other to tell their half), Angel Eyes tortures Tuco into telling him the location of the cemetery. Rather than doing the same with Blondie, he forms a partnership.

Blondie turns on Angel Eyes soon after as the three horse race continues with Tuco eventually catching up to his foes and the three all arrive at the cemetery sooner rather than later. Blondie suggests a three way duel to decide who gets the gold. I won't spoil the outcome, but suffice to say, at least one of them doesn't quite get what he wants. Angel Eyes is the most mysterious of the trio as Clint Eastwood's Blondie had been seen in two previous films, while Eli Wallach's Tuco was given a history in the film. Angel Eyes is a dark character played with venom and intensity on behalf of Lee Van Cleef. It's the Spaghetti Western star's greatest role and arguably is the greatest western villain of all.

The Facts:
- A merciless murderer.
- Has a history with other notable bounty hunters and mercenaries.
- Worked for the Confederacy and the Union during the war.
- Has become a relatively rich man over time.

Angel Eyes is a sinister man. He knows what he wants and he probably won't stop until he has it. He's got a good head on his shoulders too, not easily outthought, but in the end of the day, his aspirations are relatively small and he is out thought at points by Blondie.

7/10​

Next Time: He's reformed, but he wasn't always a nice guy. Nothing Can Stop...

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

The Juggernaut

Cain Marko has been devastating the Marvel Universe for a long time. Debuting in X-Men #12, Marko was introduced as Charles Xavier's stepbrother. He went on a rampage throughout Xavier's mansion as we learned about the characters background. A soldier in the Korean War, Marko discovered the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak in a cave, transforming into the mighty Juggernaut. He was long thought dead until the rampage against the X-Men in his debut. It was merely the start of a long career.

After fights with the X-Men, the Human Torch and Doctor Strange, as well as a trip into another dimension, Juggernaut returned to fight a foe whose power could match his own; The Incredible Hulk! The two bruised, battered and brawled before the X-Men assisted in taking him down. His disappearance wouldn't last long though as Black Tom Cassidy, the cousin of Banshee, forged a long standing partnership with Marko. In fact, on their first battle crusade against the X-Men, the pair came incredibly close to actually defeating the mutant team, only to be thwarted when Cassidy fell into the ocean.

After a further skirmish with the X-Men (along with Spider-Woman), the Juggernaut participated in arguably his greatest storyline and battle to date. Cassidy decided he could use the psychic Madame Web to further him and Juggernaut's criminal pursuits. Spider-Man fails initially to even dent Juggernaut, but after the powerful villain nearly kills Web by removing her from her life support machine, Spider-Man grows frustrated and uses a combination of speed, power and wit to defeat Juggernaut, trapping him in a pool of concrete, which took him a month to dig out of. After brief encounters with Collosus, the X-Men and the Beyonder, Juggernaut was a part of the Acts of Vengeance storyline where villains from all over the Marv el Universe joined forces to take down the top heroes. Juggernaut's targets were not the X-Men though as he battled with Thor and the New Warriors.

By the time the 1990's rolled around, the Juggernaut fought a whole new era of character from the cocky and brash Deadpool to the anti-hero Venom. However, Juggernaut also learned the truth about the Crimson Gem of Cyttorak. The gem had corrupted him, turned him evil and manipulated him. Juggernaut fights the will of the gem and begins to change his ways. Old ally Tom Cassidy manages to manipulate events and have Juggernaut placed on the X-Men, but when turned on by Cassidy, Marko decides to stay a hero and remains with the X-Men. He befriends a ten year old mutant named Sammy Paré who assists Marko in changing, however when the boy is killed by Tom Cassidy, Marko snaps and nearly destroys Cassidy. He briefly joins New Excalibur afterwards, but leaves.

In recent events, Juggernaut has returned to his more villainous ways after embracing the Gem of Cyttorak once more in order to preserve his power. He has been defeated by Skaar the son of the Hulk, briefly become Captain Universe, and joined the Thunderbolts under Luke Cage. In the Fear Itself storyline, Juggernaut became Kurrth: Breaker of Stone by lifting one of the seven Hammers of the Worthy.

The Facts:
- Incredible strength; enough power to fracture tectonic plates.
- Destroyed the World Trade centre ten years before the two plane crashes (seriously).
- Was able to hold his own against the Hulk on numerous occasions.
- Reformed on a few occasions and fought alongside former foes.
- Like a magnet for mystic/cosmic entities (Captain Universe, Gem of Cyttorak and last, but not least, Kurrth: Breaker of Stone).

Juggernaut is a strange character. He's clearly quite sinister, but at the same time, he's corrupted by his power. He's attempted to reform but failed several times. He's always had a half decent record when it came to villainy, defeating many, crushing a lot, but pretty much always failing to deliver the killer blow. That's why Cain Marko receives;

7/10​

Next Time: I haven't decided yet to be honest, as we'll be missing in action next week. But not to threat, I'll be back in two weeks time for another edition.

 

[JGlass]

The Juggernaut will always be known more for being an internet sensation than a Marvel villain. Despite his seemingly impenetrable exterior and literally unstoppable momentum, many of Marvel's greatest heroes have still been able to defeat him.

That alone knocks off a few dastardly points for me, but then there's the issue of his latest allegiance to The Thunderbolts, where he has teamed up with Songbird and friends to fight crime. He's also fought alongside the X-Men, and while Juggernaut is almost always simply looking out for his best interests, he's not TOTALLY selfish.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

Why what's this? Could it be yet another edition of FunKay's villains series? Why yes it is! Back from holiday with a brand spanking new entry in mind, so without further ado, let me introduce our next subject;

Chris Jericho

That's right, for only the second time, we take a look at a villainous wrestler, and to be more exact, we're going to be looking at Mr. Jericho's latest run of evil from 2008-2010.

Chris returned in 2007 to much fanfare as a series of viral campains circled around the "Second Coming" of a superstar. Jericho came back and was the apparent saviour of the WWE. His run as a face was short lived though as he recognised he was merely doing the same as he had before and needed to change. With that came Jericho's heel turn. A fusion of No Country for Old Men villain Anton Chigurh and AWA legend Nick Bockwinkel, Jericho became an "honest man" following his assault on the "self-righteous hypocrite" that was Shawn Michaels. Jericho caused Michaels to suffer a severe eye injury, one that was accentuated following Jericho brutal beating of Michaels at The Great American Bash of 2008. Jericho's character was more violent, deadly, narcissistic, devious and self serving than ever. He would use long, complicated words that no one would use in normal day life, and wore expensive suits, talking himself up.

Jericho managed to talk himself up once more, even after hitting HBK's wife at SummerSlam. Jericho proclaimed it was her own fault and she got in his way. Michaels could not stand by and challanged Jericho to an Un-Sanctioned Match at Unforgiven, a match which Jericho failed to win. However, Unforgiven turned into a delightful evening for the former "King of the World" when he was entered as a last minute replacement for CM Punk in the RAW Championship Scramble Match. He won the match and became the new World Heavyweight Champion. With Jericho new reign as champion, his ego swelled even more, especially after he conquered Michaels not once, but twice in Ladder and Last Man Standing matches.

Jericho however was bested by Dave Batista at Cyber Sunday and lost the World Heavyweight Championship. That didn't last particularly long though as Jericho regained his championship a mere 8 days later. Jericho would go on to proclaim that he would beat John Cena at Survivor Series and later at Armageddon, but would fail both times, in the process, losing the World Heavyweight Championship. Jericho was also awarded the 2008 Slammy award for Superstar of the Year in December. 2009 brought new opportunities for Jericho, including a shot at WWE legends Roddy Piper, Jimmy Snuka, Ricky Steamboat and Ric Flair along with Oscar nominee Mickey Rourke. Jericho bested the legends at Mania, but was victim to Rourke's powerful fists and lay kissing the ring. Jericho would also be drafted to SmackDown shortly afterwards.

Jericho's term on SmackDown led to an Intercontinental Championship reign in-between Rey Mysterio's two runs with the gold. It also saw Jericho capture the Unified Tag Team Championships with Edge, but due to Edge's injury, Jericho picked the Big Show for his partner. The duo formed a powerful team, destroying every tag team that stood in their way and were champions from July to December where they lost the gold to DX. Jericho around the turn of the decade began refering to himself as the best in the world at what he did and backed the claim up with another World Championship reign, and a successful defence at WrestleMania to boot. However Jericho's reign was short lived and ended when Jack Swagger cashed in his Money in the Bank opportunity. Jericho found himself at the losing end of a feud with old partner Edge at Extreme Rules and was drafted to RAW. Meanwhile he masterminded NXT Season One's Wade Barrett to victory in the competition. Jericho however was having less successful endeavours in the ring as he lost to Evan Bourne, R-Truth and Heath Slater along with John Morrison. Soon the pressure began to mount on Jericho as he attempted to expose the RAW GM's real identity, he was punted in the skull by Randy Orton, and os ended Chris Jericho's run in WWE.

The Facts:
- Multiple championship reigns in singles and tag team competition.
- Two time Wrestling Observer wrestler of the year.
- Nearly forced Shawn Michaels into retirement.
- Slammy Award for Superstar of the Year - 2008.
- De-maksed Rey Mysterio on a variety of occasions.

Chris Jericho is a great talent. He always has been in WWF?E and elsewhere. He's also better recognised as a heel and prior to his return in 2007, as a heel who didn't usually win. That returned mostly in 2010 with several losses to smaller talents, but in-between, in 2008 & 2009, Jericho was a champion for a long time in a variety of places. He was victorious in feuds with Shawn Michaels, Batista, Ricky Steamboat, Cryme Tyme and even against DX at points. Jericho was a fabulous villain, but did suffer from many losses at the end of the day.

8/10​

Next Time: He'll take all your clothes...and tell you to go fuck yourself.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

The Terminator

It is quite probably one of the greatest film franchises of all time, and the series that truly launched Arnold Schwarzenegger's career into another world. It is of course The Terminator. The T-800 to be more exact...or is it T-101? Well that depends on your what you watch and listen to. He's referred to as a T-101 in the second film, though in the video game, he's named a T-800. In the third film, the character is referred to as a T-850 model of a T-101. So essentially both.

The character first appeared in the 1984 hit movie The Terminator. The character was designed and programmed to kill Sarah Conner, the mother of the future leader of the human resistance. When the T-800 travels, back it's to prevent the birth of John Conner, Sarah's son. However, the T-800's job is meddled with on multiple occasions by Kyle Reece, the man who later emerges to be John Conner's right hand man in the resistance, but also, the biological father of John Conner. The Terminator attempts to kill both, however only succeeds in killing Reece...and a whole load of other people to boot. But not Sarah as programmed. The T-800 dies ultimately in a factory where it is crushed to death.

The character returns in Terminator 2: Judgment Day where he is a different model, but also programmed to help the now 10 or so John, and his mother to fight a T-1000. The T-1000 is technically superior to the T-800 and proves to be a tough foe, almost killing both Conner's on numerous occasions, as well as murdering a variety of other people to get to them. Ultimately all three of our protagonists save the day and prevent the T-1000 from killing the Conner family, as well as preventing Judgment Day...for a little while. That plays right into the third film where another T-800 is sent back in time to save John Conner and his future wife from the now inevitable Judgment Day. The new robot has to fight off an even sleeker design than the last; The T-X. Ultimately, the T-800 accomplishes it's mission by saving Conner and his bride-to-be, but is killed following heavy damage sustained in battle with the T-X.

The Facts:
- Ruthless, emotionless, killing machine.
- Has a large memory bank as well as high intelligence.
- Cannot be stopped with bullets, or even large explosions.
- Can be re-programmed for good.

The T-800 is supposed to be an unstoppable killing machine, however two problems arise when looking at that theory. Number one, it can be re-programmed to serve the purpose of good. And number two, as with all machine's, it's rendered obsolete after a new model is designed. However, the T-800 remains one of the most powerful and commanding Terminators of all time, and was a frightening villain.

7/10​

Next Time: We examine another science fiction villain, and this one has a link to this message board like no other...mwahahahaahahaahaaaaaa!