How far does forgiveness reach?

[LSN80]

11 years ago, Michael Huntler was involved in an incident that changed his life forever. There are two stories here, one from 11 years ago, and one that's come out recently. In short, Michael was attending a party at a neighboring college to the University of Pittsburgh, where he attended college. Along with a friend, Michael attended a party at LaRoche college, which resides close to the University of Pittsburgh. He had attended with a friend, and they only knew one another. Inebriated, his friend got into a fight with another kid, who wound up being tougher then he, and he was pounding his face in.

We here stories about this all the time, but here's where things get interesting: Huntler stepped in only when he saw his friend getting pulverized, attempting to restore order. However, several of the friends of the other guy stepped in as well, and Huntler, according to the story, defended himself. Eventually, he found a boy no bigger then he on top of him lunging forward, so he grabbed the kid by the back of the neck, and as they fell to the ground, Huntler held on to the boy. The boy, Samuel McPlath, wound up cracking his head off pavement, killing him instantaneously. How did things turn out for him? Here's an excerpt from the Pittsburgh Tribune Review from 6 years ago:

(2007) Matthew Huntler, 26, walked out of Allegheny County jail one month ago a free man, almost 5 years to the date of when he was convicted of manslaughter in the 2002 death of Samuel McPrath, age 21. Huntler argued seld-defense at trial, but was ultimately found guilty, and sentenced to 9 years. Due to good behavior, Huntler was released after 5 years, gaining a law degree and passing the bar while inside. Although he is unable to practice law due to his conviction, he has obtained a job as a paralegal at the law firm his uncle and brother practice at.

It was meant as a feel-good story, as he made the "best" of his time in prison, and until this day, has not a blemish on his record. He is now married and expecting his first child. I imagine, in a scenario like this, a jury or prosecutor wants to see someone pay for a death, especially one at a college party, although from all witness accounts, things happened fairly quickly yet Huntler was only defending himself, and it was a bad fall. He had no history of violence prior, was stepping in to help a friend, and essentially, his conviction was based upon the fact that he had his hands around the back of the McPrath boy's neck.

Bear with me, as an article in the same paper last week made the story all the more interesting. The McPrath family is fairly well off, and when witnesses, on more then one occasion, saw Huntler and the boy's mother, Sandra McPrath, having coffee together, it became news. Sandra McPrath gave an interview last week regarding her 'unique relationship with the man who killed her son.

"When he first was released from prison, I called his house every day, but when he answered, I hung up. Finally, after a week of calling, I mustered enough courage to ask 'Why Samuel', to which Michael replied, 'It was an accident." So I told him all about my son, his personality, his interests, his upbringing, and the fact that he had never been in a fight before. Michael simply apologized, and we both cried."

I don't know that I could bring myself to talk to the person who killed my child, accident or not. Apology or not. Whether he murdered him in cold blood, or by accident, he would still be the cause of my child's death, and for that, impossible to forgive. But McPlath further explained:

" I could hear the sincerity in his voice, and I wanted to know more about him. Who he was, what he had become. My husband passed soon after Samuel's death of a heart attack, and for awhile, I blamed him for it too. So I reached out, and asked him to meet me. And every two weeks, we have coffee and just talk. Sometimes about Samuel, other times about work, or about his family as well. We've developed a friendship, a tenuous one at that. We've been meeting for over a year now, and while we've developed a friendship, I can't say I've been able to forgive him.

The article says little of relevance after this, except the last sentence, which I'll share shortly. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. On one hand, you have people, accident or not, that kill the person who take the life of their spouse or child. On the other, you have people who simply want justice done, even though the grief ultimately never goes away. But I've never seen nor heard of a situation like this before, where a mother befriends her son's 'killer'. And why?

"I know I'll never be able to move past it. It's simply too painful. But someday, I hope he can."

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

What would you want to see happen to that person?

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

Any other thoughts or discussion of this unique story are welcomed and encouraged.

 

[Pay Per Ghost]

It would be THE hardest thing ever to do, to even think about forgiving someone who did harm to my family. Personally, the rage would probably propel me to do something in retaliation (its kinda the lay of the land here too). But to be honest, there is also this overwhelming feeling to let ago after years have passed.

Growing up I had a lotta friction with the seniors of my school, basically coz, when I was in the 9th grade, a massive fight (chains, knives, steel tipped boots and shit) broke out. It lasted for months and teachers had to intervene. I and a couple of my friends almost got stabbed. But as they call it here, 'we compromised', you let go and move on because you don't want the constant fear or anxiety hounding you. You will be having the funnest of times with your friends but there will be this nag at the back of your heard saying, its not all ok. At some point, you just get burnt out with it all.


I can't remember the names here, but I remember seeing a trial on TV, an American man had killed a girl, possibly after raping her. There wasn't conclusive proof to convict him and he pleaded not guilty.

The girl's family at the trial, stood up and said, we forgive you, to the guy.


The guy broke down and confessed to the whole thing. But here's the deal: it wasn't a rouge by the family. They came out and said, they had faith in the good lord, and they choose to forgive the man. I wish I could find a video of that. Moving stuff.

Forgiveness is often taken as weakness or a compromise, and maybe it is; its just that all that eats you from inside, unless you let it go.

 

[The Butcher]

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not? [/quote]

Two friends of mine were killed almost 6 years ago now. I'll forgo the details and simply say that I have forgiven those responsible. Forgiveness is essential. It really is. The grief will sting and may possibly never completely go away, but anger and hatred can eat you alive.

What would you want to see happen to that person?

That completely depends on the circumstances. If the situation was like the one described in the story you shared, I'd want him to do some hard time. His intent may not have been to kill, but it was to do harm. There's not enough in your summation of the event to get my inner juror to say "not guilty."

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

First, one would have to prove that it was just an accident, rather than an assault that led to a death. Add in the fact that alcohol was likely involved (college party and all), and that just makes it that much harder to say that Huntler was just a white knight riding in to save his buddy. However, even it was an accident, he still killed a guy by slamming the guy's head into a sidewalk. That's not exactly a fender bender in rush hour traffic.

I forgive others because I hope that others extend their forgiveness to me. The Golden Rule is too simple not to follow, yet apparently many prefer to take the path of most resistance in life. From what has been put in front of me here, I feel that justice was served in the Huntler/McPrath incident from soup to nuts. Huntler did the crime and the time, McPrath's mother forgave him, and now everyone has essentially moved on and is in a good place in their life.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

Does it really make a practical difference? It's just a state of mind, isn't it? You either move on from the loss or you don't. You didn't ask the guilty party to be a part of your life, did you? You aren't happy they're now in your mind, are you? Maybe I'd feel differently if I was on the victim's family end of this, but I'd prefer to put the person responsible for this out of my mind for as long as I live.

And besides all that, if the person you're forgiving hurt or killed your loved one on purpose, do you think it truly matters to them whether you forgive them or not? After all, it's just their state of mind if they do.

What would you want to see happen to that person?

Whatever you might think about it, there's nothing in your power you can do. Sure, if you have the opportunity to show up in court and tell the judge & jury what a wonderful person your loved one was, you can do it. But what happens to the guy is determined by means outside yourself.

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

No, if that's what he was doing. But who's to say? I marvel at some of the afternoon court shows I tape, and the overriding thought I always get when watching is how easy it is for people to lie their asses off in court. They can look at Judge Judy square in the eye and tell her the sun is shining in the middle of the night. I can't get over it. Then, we have the defense attorneys who do everything they can to distort the facts, rather than finding the truth. They don't care if their client is guilty, they just want to win their case. Someday, there's going to be a foolproof lie detector test that will reveal the total truth, but until that day, we have only words to tell us whether the accused was trying to make peace....or bash the guy's head in.....and the truth about Huntler's motives can be determined only by what he says to the jury, right? Sure, if courts can determine if the accused was only trying to save his friend, he shouldn't have gone to prison at all. Since we don't really know, unless there's conclusive proof, we'll have to depend on our inadequate justice system to make the determination. And unless there's a confession, how do you ever get conclusive proof of what was going through the guy's head when he was bashing in the victim's?

Remember, though, if you enter a fight, anything can happen....and the actions of those few moments may determine what your entire future will be like.

 

[HBsam31]

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

It's hard to say for me. I don't think forgiving that person would even be in my mind. First I would just need to move on from the death. I can honestly say that I don't think it would be a need of mine to forgive the person. I think I would just try to put said person out of my mind. Who knows though, I haven't had something like this happen.

What would you want to see happen to that person?

If it was an accident I don't know. If it was on purpose then I would want to see him serve time I am sure. It depends on the circumstance really. If it was a cold blood thing I am pretty sure I would want payback, but I wouldn't want to rot in jail after gettitng that payback. This is where the extreme grey area comes in. If it was my wife or child at that time I would consider my life over anyway, and I think my mind could go to a pretty bad place. Then after a while I think my common sense would come into play, and I would just hope for a long prison sentence or death penatly. Even then those consequences would do nothing to make me feel any better really.

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

If it was the truth then I guess he shouldn't have went to jail, but this is me sitting here at work with my wife and child safe at home. If I were on the business end of this story then I don't know if my mind would be functioning as leveled headed as it is now. For me this is one of those things that I could only truthfully talkk about if it directly involved me. I can say what I would like to think, but I don't know if I would really think that way. I have been on both ends of a fight, and honestly it is something I try to avoid like the plague. I always have. I will defend myself, but I am not trying to die because someone called me a name or pissed on my car tire. I have seen bad fights for both of those things which uis why I mentioned them. TOugh call here. One thing I can certainly say is I wouldn't be having coffee with the guy accident or not.

 

[HBsam31]

I wanted to add on to my post here as well. Please don't delete because I am being serious. Does anyone else thing there might be some kind of weird sexual attraction going on here with the mother as well. I mean her son and her husband are both dead, and she is having meeting with the guy that killed her son. There may be more to this than we know, and people have done stranger things. Could that be possible and realistic?

 

[Jack-Hammer]

Well, we've all heard the old chestnut "forgiveness is divine", but the problem is that we're flesh & blood people with limits and faults. I have Christian beliefs and one key aspect of Christianity is supposed to be forgiveness. As far as I'm concerned, all you can do is the best you can and everyone has a limit as to how far they can go and how much they can forgive.

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

I honestly don't know. My knee jerk reaction would be to say of course not, as I imagine that would be the reaction for a good number of people. As I alluded to earlier, people aren't perfect and one of the oldest instincts we have is to want to see some sort of wrong done to us punished. I will say that I think it's possible that I MIGHT be able to forgive someone who'd done this to me, depending upon how you apply the word "accident". For instance, killing someone while driving a car under the influence could be considered an "accident". Killing someone while talking on your phone or texting while driving could be thought of as an "accident". I don't believe I could forgive those sorts of "accidents" because, to me, it screams thoughtlessness and indifference to the well being of others when you drive while drunk or while talking & texting on your cell phone. As far as killing someone accidentally while engaged in a fight, again, it might depend on the circumstances. This Huntler guy, for instance, was trying to break up a fight as his friend was getting his ass handed to him. This McGrath guy, at least based on the story, looks to have misinterpreted what Huntler was doing and thought he was trying to help his friend in the fight rather than try to end it. Again, according to the story, it looks as though Huntler & McGrath were grappling with each other, lost their balance McGrath's head simply smacked hard into the pavement. All it all, McGrath's death does come off like a horrible & tragic accident rather than anything remotely resembling malice disregard for someone else. In something like this, I MIGHT be able to forgive the person. I can't say for sure but, based on what I've read, it just seems like this was a completely horrible misunderstanding that resulted in a legit accident.

What would you want to see happen to that person?

Again, I think it would be based on the circumstances. In this case, it seems as though Huntler was defending himself. It could have just as easily been his head that smacked onto the pavement but it wasn't. If someone killed my child or spouse or brother or parent or whatever in a similar sort of clusterfuck accident in which no genuinely harmful intent or carelessness was evident, I do think that at least some jail time would be appropriate. When I read that he'd spent nearly 5 years inside for it, it surprised me. I've seen many drunk drivers who've caused serious injury & death wind up with the proverbial slap on the wrist compared to what this guy got. However, I suppose the fact that alcohol played some part in it and the fact that it was a bunch of drunken college kids that may have made the prosecutor go harder on this than he otherwise might have.

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

Well, as I said, alcohol played some part in this whole mess to begin with. Sometimes, it's a mitigating factor in what happened. As an outsider looking in, if it was simply a terrible accident in which no harm was intended, my first reaction would be that it was simply self defense and that he shouldn't be charged. However, after thinking things over, and the fact that he himself may have been intoxicated at the time, I think some sort of jail time is appropriate. Whether intended or not, this guy's death came about as the result of a drunken brawl and simply walking off with no punishment simply doesn't feel right to me. Some can argue that it was poor judgment on his part, which it may have been, but hindsight is always 20/20. Plus, look at how many violent crimes, assaults & deaths come about because of poor choices made by someone. Given the circumstances of this, I do think that nearly 5 years is a bit harsh and, personally, think somewhere along the line of 1 to 2 years imprisonment and another 2 or 3 years of probation seems more appropriate.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

As a Christian, it's not an option. It would take tons of prayer and some therapy, but in the end, I believe this isn't the only life you live and all I could hope for is that I would see them again. Ultimately, it would be my duty to forgive the transgressor, no matter how bad it hurt.

What would you want to see happen to that person?

No. If I could avoid it, I wouldn't make contact with them. Period. If I don't have to subject myself to any more pain, then I'll avoid it at all cost.

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

That was up to the jury, and the jury seen that there wasn't enough evidence to support self-defense. If it was truly an accident and the jury seen it that way, then all you can do is move on and mourn the loss of someone who was in an unfortunate accident.

 

[LSN80]

Just to keep the discussion going:

The guy broke down and confessed to the whole thing. But here's the deal: it wasn't a rouge by the family. They came out and said, they had faith in the good lord, and they choose to forgive the man. I wish I could find a video of that. Moving stuff.

I wish you could too. It would be something I would want to see. People would say I'm too forgiving when it comes to most things regarding myself, but when people around me are wronged, I have a very hard time forgiving.

It makes me think of a thread I started two years ago on here regarding a Arabic man who was shot in the eye by an American, solely due to racial stereotyping. At the man's trial, the Arabic man testified against, but looked the defiant, unrepentant American in the eye, and told him "I forgive you. Whether you want it or not, I forgive you." And this was the man who took away his ability to see out of one eye, and was unrepentant.

The man later, before being put to death, had one final request. To speak to the Arabic man face-to-face, and apologize. Forgiveness is a powerful thing.

Forgiveness is often taken as weakness or a compromise, and maybe it is; its just that all that eats you from inside, unless you let it go.

I think it's one of the strongest things a person can do. Like I mentioned before, with the Arabic man, he forgave the person who took his eyesight, and had attempted to kill him. It's easier to stay bitter, cast blame, and feel sorry for oneself. But to face the person(or entity) you hold responsible for your situation, and forgive them? The stuff heroes are made of.

Huntler did the crime and the time, McPrath's mother forgave him, and now everyone has essentially moved on and is in a good place in their life.

Just to re-iterate McPrath's mother's position regarding Michael Huntler, from the quote in which she spoke personally to the paper:

"We've been meeting for over a year now, and while we've developed a friendship, I can't say I've been able to forgive him."

To be honest, it almost seems as if she's in denial, doesn't it? To me, how could you form a friendship with someone who killed your son, yet not forgive them? Call me naïve, but it's hard for me to imagine meeting with someone and offering the hand of friendship to them, yet being unable to forgive.

And perhaps, its a situation where she wants someone to come out of it in a better place. Even if she can't forgive and move on, she may believe it an accident, and want Huntler's life to be better as a result. I think her final statement indicates that, does it not?

"I know I'll never be able to move past it. It's simply too painful. But someday, I hope he can."

You either move on from the loss or you don't. You didn't ask the guilty party to be a part of your life, did you? And besides all that, if the person you're forgiving hurt or killed your loved one on purpose, do you think it truly matters to them whether you forgive them or not?

Two really good questions, and ones that maybe she doesn't even have the answers to. Personally, here's my response.

1. She may not initially have asked the guilty party to have been part of her life, but she's kept him there, hasn't she? Long after he went to prison and was released, she made contact with him, and has kept up bi-weekly meetings. Personally, accident or no, my child would still be dead, and I'd want to distance myself as far from that person as possible.

2. If on purpose? It depends on that person's state of mind then and now. If they had done it on purpose, or had at least showed no regard for the possibility, then at the time, I imagine they wouldn't care. But I like to think people can change, and especially if alcohol was involved and the person was reckless, they would want forgiveness from those they hurt left standing, in this case, the mother.

After all, it's just their state of mind if they do.

But wouldn't knowing that they wanted forgiveness help your state of mind, in some way? Either way, he's dead, but I would think it would come as some comfort knowing that the individual wanted your forgiveness, whether you were capable of granting it or not.

Remember, though, if you enter a fight, anything can happen....and the actions of those few moments may determine what your entire future will be like.

And that's the real shame of it all. The entire fight started because Huntler's friend allegedly spilled beer on another kid's coat, and because he was drunk, had far too much bravado to apologize. He got his rear kicked, his friend allegedly tried to save him, and wound up killing someone in the process.

A real interesting story would be on the current perspective of said friend now, knowing his actions were the pre-cursor to all that happened following.

Does anyone else thing there might be some kind of weird sexual attraction going on here with the mother as well. I mean her son and her husband are both dead, and she is having meeting with the guy that killed her son. There may be more to this than we know, and people have done stranger things. Could that be possible and realistic?

Grief has caused people, as you said, to do stranger things. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility, but the most of me wants to take her at her word that she's hoping it will help Huntler move on. Stockholm Syndrome involves people who are kidnapped and find themselves finding empathy, and sometimes, love, for their captors. There was a story from not so long ago about a sister who fell in love with the man who was convicted and jailed for killing her older sister, so I suppose it's possible.

Given the circumstances of this, I do think that nearly 5 years is a bit harsh and, personally, think somewhere along the line of 1 to 2 years imprisonment and another 2 or 3 years of probation seems more appropriate.

Granted, I'm not in law enforcement and have some legal knowledge, but not much, but I also thought that 5 years inside was too much. More importantly, he got out after 5 when he had been sentenced to 9. Perhaps it was politics, a harsh judge, or alcohol was truly the mitigating factor. Again, with limited legal knowledge, it surprises me that no 'accessory to' charges were brought against the two men that started the fight. If I was prosecuting the case, and this whole mess started over spilled beer and a refusal to apologize, I would want to see some punishment handed down to the instigators.

As a Christian, it's not an option. It would take tons of prayer and some therapy, but in the end, I believe this isn't the only life you live and all I could hope for is that I would see them again. Ultimately, it would be my duty to forgive the transgressor, no matter how bad it hurt.

As someone who shares similar Christian beliefs that Lariat and Jack-Hammer do, it makes me think to the scripture I learned in church growing up, and my wife has brought to my attention from time-to-time:

Mark 11:26"But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions."

I suppose this comes down to what you believe, but for those who have Christian beliefs, the message is pretty clear. Jesus died to forgive you of your sins, but in order to receive that forgiveness, you have to forgive other people theirs. If one is a Christian, that's non-negotiable.

It's also the biggest thing I struggle with, forgiveness. I marvel at my wife, who is quick to forgive. It comes easily to her, whether it be with me, and the stupid things I do, all-the-way to the reckless driver who killed her dad(and himself). Is it still painful to her? Sure. But her ability to 'let go' astounds me, and being a Christian, and this very verse, is her justification.

It's not so easy for me. And if I was Mrs. McPlath, I can't imagine establishing a friendship with the person who killed my son, accident or otherwise. Forgiving them? I would try. But I would have to be dead, like Mrs. McPlath's husband, before it would be plausible for my wife to develop a 'friendship' with someone similar to Michael Huntler.

 

[FitFinlay4Life]

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

What would you want to see happen to that person?

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

Any other thoughts or discussion of this unique story are welcomed and encouraged.

If the story regarding the background to this is accurate, I would have no problem forgiving Michael. This sounds like something that the poor fellow had no control over - he held onto Samuel to prevent the other guys attacking him while he was prone on the ground not as an actual offensive attack on the kid.

With the circumstances as described (and apparently verified), I'm in shock that he was (a) Jailed in the first place & (b) Jailed for so long.

Unfortunately I have personal evidence of a similar circumstance were my own father was assaulted causing him now to have mental deficiency and left side paralysis. The difference in his case though was that he was attacked from the blind side by a man 20 years his junior with 9/10 inches and 70lbs on him on the say so of a would be loyalist Godfather (I say would be because he's actually a big fat stupid lump of excrement). There was no 'accident' to what happened to my father, although I'd be amazed if either of the causing parties would have dreamed that the result would have been as extreme. As such, I will never forgive either of them. Michael and Samuel's case was a complete accident though and, as such, Michael deserves to be forgiven and to get on with his life and I applaud Samuel's mother for doing her part in helping him do this.

On the topic of forgiveness and given the spate of fundamentalist attacks in recent times, do you feel that you could have it in your hearts to ape this man who lost his daughter to the IRA in the Enniskillen Remembrance Day Bombing?

Note: The first link is the wiki page describing the events of that terrible day and the second link is the BBC interview with Gordon Wilson who lost his daughter Marie.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Remembrance_Day_bombing

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/20257328​

In the instance of Michael, I would have no issue around forgiveness but in my own circumstance and that of the Enniskillen case... no, I don't believe I'll ever have it in my heart to follow Gordon's example.

 

[HBsam31]

Grief has caused people, as you said, to do stranger things. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility, but the most of me wants to take her at her word that she's hoping it will help Huntler move on. Stockholm Syndrome involves people who are kidnapped and find themselves finding empathy, and sometimes, love, for their captors. There was a story from not so long ago about a sister who fell in love with the man who was convicted and jailed for killing her older sister, so I suppose it's possible.
[/QUOTE]

This is where this stroy is hard for me to understand. I have trouble believing people in general are truely good. It would take a really good person to forgive someone for something like this accident or not. This is where I start looking for alterior motives. This could jjust be the cinic in me, but I have a hard time believing people do things without any personal gain. I would have an extremely hard time forgiving someone for taking a loved one from meaccident or not. It would not even be on my radar for a long long time. I am a mostly good person who mostly keeps to himself. These forums are probably my biggest outlets for discussion. I have a wife and a kid, and adult conversation is getting harder to come by lol. So for someone to enter my world and take someone away from me that I love would be a hard pill for me to swallow. To then sit and have bi weekly meetings with that person would be something else entriely. Maybe I need to start looking for the good in people more often, maybe all people really do only look at how a situation can benift them, or maybe it is somewhere in between. I hope I am never in a position to have to forgive someone for something like this, but this has been the most thought provoking thread I have read on these forums in my year and a half here. Thanks for that.

 

[Loveless]

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

If it's an accident and they were sorry about it then absolutely. If it wasn't an accident or they weren't sorry then absolutely not.

What would you want to see happen to that person?

Depends on the answer above. If it's an accident then it doesn't matter, just move on. If it's not an accident there would be serious consequences for that person. I've discussed this with my partner and we both agreed that if someone were to intentionally hurt our child, we would probably kill them or at least "let them die" specifically we said we'd grab them, drive out 200 miles into the desert and leave them there.

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

I'd say no, or at least whatever he's charged with should have been no more than assault.

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

11 years ago, Michael Huntler was involved in an incident that changed his life forever. There are two stories here, one from 11 years ago, and one that's come out recently. In short, Michael was attending a party at a neighboring college to the University of Pittsburgh, where he attended college. Along with a friend, Michael attended a party at LaRoche college, which resides close to the University of Pittsburgh. He had attended with a friend, and they only knew one another. Inebriated, his friend got into a fight with another kid, who wound up being tougher then he, and he was pounding his face in.

We here stories about this all the time, but here's where things get interesting: Huntler stepped in only when he saw his friend getting pulverized, attempting to restore order. However, several of the friends of the other guy stepped in as well, and Huntler, according to the story, defended himself. Eventually, he found a boy no bigger then he on top of him lunging forward, so he grabbed the kid by the back of the neck, and as they fell to the ground, Huntler held on to the boy. The boy, Samuel McPlath, wound up cracking his head off pavement, killing him instantaneously. How did things turn out for him? Here's an excerpt from the Pittsburgh Tribune Review from 6 years ago:



It was meant as a feel-good story, as he made the "best" of his time in prison, and until this day, has not a blemish on his record. He is now married and expecting his first child. I imagine, in a scenario like this, a jury or prosecutor wants to see someone pay for a death, especially one at a college party, although from all witness accounts, things happened fairly quickly yet Huntler was only defending himself, and it was a bad fall. He had no history of violence prior, was stepping in to help a friend, and essentially, his conviction was based upon the fact that he had his hands around the back of the McPrath boy's neck.

Bear with me, as an article in the same paper last week made the story all the more interesting. The McPrath family is fairly well off, and when witnesses, on more then one occasion, saw Huntler and the boy's mother, Sandra McPrath, having coffee together, it became news. Sandra McPrath gave an interview last week regarding her 'unique relationship with the man who killed her son.



I don't know that I could bring myself to talk to the person who killed my child, accident or not. Apology or not. Whether he murdered him in cold blood, or by accident, he would still be the cause of my child's death, and for that, impossible to forgive. But McPlath further explained:




The article says little of relevance after this, except the last sentence, which I'll share shortly. I'm not sure how I feel about this one. On one hand, you have people, accident or not, that kill the person who take the life of their spouse or child. On the other, you have people who simply want justice done, even though the grief ultimately never goes away. But I've never seen nor heard of a situation like this before, where a mother befriends her son's 'killer'. And why?



Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

What would you want to see happen to that person?

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place?

Any other thoughts or discussion of this unique story are welcomed and encouraged.

Could you offer forgiveness or 'wish the best' for the person who killed your child/spouse/close relative, accident or not?

From a buddhist perspective, Yes you must forgive. You will feel release from it.


What would you want to see happen to that person?

I would like to see genuine forgiveness. I am one of those people who can tell if a person is genuine by the look in their eyes.

If it was truly an accident, and Huntler was just trying to save his friend, should he have gone to jail in the first place? Huntler must still face the consequences. The law's the law.