Sean Valjean
Lets Bitch About This Thing We Love
Hell In A Cell. WWE's most dangerous match. Inside its unforgiving steel walls, careers have ended. Superstars, once full of strength and vigor, have emerged as mere shells of themselves. Tonight, six superstars compete in THREE Cell matches - after stepping inside Satan's playpen, they'll never, ever be the same again.
Two of the top women responsible for revolutionizing women's wrestling are rewarded for their efforts by having their careers and lives placed in jeopardy inside the most barbaric structure devised by a man who owns a professional wrestling organization.
A pair of gladiators: one fights for the honor of his wife and family, the other fights for America, probably. After tonight, neither will be the same because they're stepping inside of a structure that values neither woman nor country. The Cell only wants their blood.
A Prizefighter and an Architect battle for the right to be called THE MAN (who looks best for Stephanie/Triple H). Who will walk out of the Cell as the Universal Champion? That's a trick question - no one walks out of the Cell. They survive it. Unfortunately, Chris Jericho is not participating in this match.
These men and women shall carry the scars forever, destined to spend every waking moment for the remainder of their now-shortened lives reliving the pain inflicted to them by the Cell, even years later, and whatever else Mick Foley says to convince viewers that they'll be witnessing a trifecta of bloodbaths. May God have mercy on their souls.
MAIN CARD
Sasha Banks vs Charlotte - Raw Women's Championship (Hell in a Cell)
Seth Rollins vs Kevin Owens - WWE Universal Championship (Hell in a Cell)
Roman Reigns vs Rusev - United States Championship (Hell in a Cell)
New Day vs Cesaro & Sheamus - WWE Tag Team Championship
TJ Perkins vs Brian Kendrick - WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Enzo & Cass vs Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson
Bayley vs Dana Brooke
KICK OFF
Cedric Alexander/Lince Dorado/Sin Cara vs Tony Nese/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari
